YES, IT'S NOT A PHOTO FROM TONIGHT'S EVENT BUT IT'S LATE AND I'M TIRED

Fastforwarded through the highly prestigious and intellectually profound TEEN CHOICE awards to see GOSSIP GIRL's Leighton Meester and Chase Crawford get Best Actor and Actress as they picked up GG's award for Best Show, as well as Ed Westwick and Kristen Bell presenting. Ed Westwick was insanely hot in person; his natural British accent and un-Chuck Bass attire of jeans and T-shirt made me want to leap through the TV. Instead, I had a nice cup of Earl Grey and reflected on Ed coming to New York and drinking tea and buying the wrong kind of creamer (an anecdote told better in last year's NEW YORK magazine cover feature on GG.)

SWEET LIBERTY

Briefly watching DAYS OF OUR LIVES' Chad, Will and Mia before watching the 5/28 episode of AS THE WORLD TURNS, (my DVR will never, ever, ever be empty) I realized that Liberty needs another love interest besides Parker, pronto. With Parker the only teenage male on the show there is absolutely no one else for Liberty to gravitate towards and the writers will keep on sticking them together no matter how much Liberty tells Parker to back off as he gets creepier and nastier. Parker's brother JJ needs to be brought back on the show, suitably SORASed and then I can stop worrying about Janet Ciccone's pride and joy spending the rest of her life with the runt of the Snyder litter.

MORE LIKE STULTIFYING

Watched barely entertaining, long forgotten 1991 soap opera spoof DELIRIOUS tonight. Time could have been better spent watching a real soap opera instead of this slapdash TOOTSIE wannabe. Emma Samms and David Rasche are fun, but the damned thing feels like notes for a first draft.

DOT COTTON BLOODY DOT COTTON

In John Schlesinger's interesting 1971 film SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY you can see EASTENDERS' June Brown crying her eyes out spectacularly in one scene. Look fast and you will also see an uncredited Petra Markham, who appeared briefly in EE in 1993 -- she played Rose, who ran off with Pete Beale, only to be horribly killed off screen.

No soaps watched today -- too busy watching depressing bisexual drama, dontchaknow.

NOAH FUCKS SOME SHIT UP

My bloodthirst was appeased by the 5/11 episode of AS THE WORLD TURNS, wherein Noah revealed previously unknown skills at shooting down day players. The look on Luke's face was priceless: "My boyfriend just shot someone! THAT'S HOT!!!"

The following Hunter-centric episode was also fun, but then we saw the preview for the next episode contained the toxic pairing of Paul and Meg, and the ATWT train screeched to a halt. I like Paul with Emily and no one else. I like Meg when she interacts with the rest of the Snyder family. Unfortunately, Paul and Meg together are a recipe for long, barely audible, illogical scenes of game playing, taunting and tedium.

SIX FEET UNDER

Didn't watch a lot of soaps tonight. I did see a bit of DAYS OF OUR LIVES; just enough to see that Casey Deidrick as Chad is HOT! Good bit of casting there. I wonder if hot young actors really do bring da kidz to da soapz or just older gay guys like me?

The bit I saw of THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS was wild. So Philip was never in his coffin? What is going on here? I love Kay bringing up the possibility that Philip's body was dumped out for illegal organ harvesting. In the real world, that actually makes more sense than dead people turning out to be alive and well after all. It's great to see Nina back to deal with the ramifications of this story but my '80s flashback will not be complete until Cricket turns up as well!

DILF DAY

In honor of Father's Day, I'd like to raise a pint to AS THE WORLD TURNS' Damian Grimaldi, Paolo Seganti, surely one of the sexiest older men on soaps today. No wonder Noah is always defending and praising Damian -- that's what his boyfriend Luke is going to look like in 20 years' time!