DIE, DIE, MY DIMERA

They are really stretching out Tony DiMera's demise on DAYS OF OUR LIVES, aren't they?  To be honest, he might have died at the end of today's episode but I didn't watch it because GOSSIP GIRL was calling to me from the DVR!

And a fine episode of GG it was, though one plot twist was stupidly spoiled by the "Previously on GOSSIP GIRL" recap.  By reminding us of the hidden Humphrey child, the seemingly innocuous fan letter Dan got was loaded with Obvious Significance.  I also wasn't too fond of Jenny in this episode; surely she should have spent her unwanted party getting elaborate revenge on the girls who tormented her rather than masochistically wrecking her future abode?

xoxo

TORI SPELLING: AUTEUR

This morning's 90210 rerun was directed by Tori Spelling.  She did a decent job until a scene with Randy Spelling where he is supposed to be doing amusing things behind Janet's back, which failed miserably.  The bit where Donna calls David to tell him to watch SLEEPAWAY CAMP and SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE was equally unconvincing.  The only fun to be had was a walk-on by Eva Longoria as a stewardess, since I realized I could be suffering through DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES instead.

R.I.P. EILEEN HERLIE

Just watched the 12/20/2008 episode of ALL MY CHILDREN that was a special tribute to Eileen Herlie, who played Myrtle.  Wonderfully touching and sad.  I defy anyone to watch the clips of Myrtle accepting Bianca after she came out without welling up with tears.

Also rearing up from the depths of my DVR was the final episode of DAYS OF OUR LIVES to feature Deidre Hall and Drake Hogestyn as Marlena and John.  It was well acted, but a bit rushed.  Did they have to make John Black almost completely immobile in order to get rid of him?  Such an odd end to a legendary character.

To concentrate on today's soap episodes, I am really absorbed by GENERAL HOSPITAL's tale of post-partum depression.  Every wrong move Robin makes startles me, and Patrick's reactions feel authentic.  It's a pity such an honest story stands the risk of being drowned in more mob intrigue and the shenanigans of the unlikable and uncharismatic Ethan.  On another plus side, the scenes between Nicolas, Rebecca, Lucky and Elizabeth were meaty, allowing us to play with the possibility of a Lucky/Rebecca coupling.  Hmmmmm...it could work.

I'm very happy to hear that Don Diamont is joining the cast of THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL to hopefully cut through this near-incestuous knot the show has webbed itself into.  (Quick!  Someone stop that metaphor!)  Of course Thomas tried to kill Rick!  As Thomas himself pointed out, Rick killed his (Thomas') sister and slept with his other sister and mother!!  This show needs a new character who is NOT related to anyone on the canvas!

I also watched episode 5 of DARK SHADOWS.  The mystery of Victoria Winter's parentage is brought up, but a greater mystery is why wasn't this ever resolved?  It's the frakkin' premise of the ENTIRE SHOW!!  Surely the writers in later years could have come up with a way to tie the reveal of Victoria's true family history into the supernatural?  In later years of DS, sometimes the show is just one event after another, with no indication of how the characters are affected emotionally.  Characters cease to have personal goals as they traipse through timelines until all sense of the personalities of the present day characters is lost.  I bet if DS had stayed in contemporary Collinwood, it would still be on the air today.  Character always wins out over plot in the world of daytime drama.

INFINITE JEST, 90210 STYLE

My breakfast viewing of 90210 reruns on SoapNet entered a strange era of the show I am not familiar with at all.  Dylan is leading a community center for drug addict rehab and fucking up anyone who gets in the way?  When did this happen?!?

My after work viewing of SoapNet's YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS marathon yielded the astonishing scenes where Sharon actually, literally begs Phyllis not to tell Jack about her affair with Billy.  Yikes, Sharon was a frakkin' mess!  I liked how she slipped up and mentioned Brad instead of Billy, indicating how this is all some serious post-Brad trauma.  It may annoy when Y&R kills off beloved characters but at least the show plays out the consequences.

WHY CAN'T RON CARLIVATI BE HEAD WRITER FOR AS THE WORLD TURNS?

As I watched yesterday and today's episodes of ONE LIFE TO LIVE, I was struck by how much more involving Llanview is than Oakdale.  Plots intersect, scenes end on hooks that keep you watching through the commercials, and characters interact in believable ways even when the stories are a trifle far-fetched.  Meanwhile, ATWT episodes from the beginning of February languish in my DVR.  Que lastima.

GENERAL HOSPITAL has been hit-and-miss lately, but today's episode was mostly hit.  I enjoyed Alexis covering for a hiding Winifred by claiming Winifred's muffled intake of breath was a fart.  I like the interplay between Olivia and Sonny, and the quietly shocking story of Robin running away to flirt with bartenders who have opera tickets.  (Unlike Robin, I would have gone to the opera, but hey, I'm easy that way.)

I watched a little bit of DAYS OF OUR LIVES and was pleased to see more Mya.  She underplays everything and I think she'll be a good match with Will.  Plus, I am a sentimental sucker for performers that were only supposed to be short-term but wind up with contracts.  More Mya and less Molly Burnett please!  I especially hated how Melanie played the "I'm only 18!" card today.  You can't expect to be taken seriously as a business woman only to blame your missteps on youthful folly!  (That is the most ridiculously Victorian phrase I have ever used in my writing, ever.)  Mya revealing all to Tony DiMera is potentially a good twist, but ruined for me by the knowledge that Tony will not be in the show for much longer.

Watched the scene on You Tube where GUIDING LIGHT's Grady gets pushed off a cliff.  Well, at least a dummy of Kane Manera did, anyway.  Hooray!  I can't believe we're supposed to feel sorry for Daisy!  To paraphrase Joy Behar, "Who cares?  So what?"

To return to OLTL, wasn't it fun to see Dan Gauthier show up on LOST as Jeff Fahey's co-pilot?  I always melodramatically overreact to surprise appearances of ex-soap stars in my favorite shows.  When his name appeared in the credits, I murmured under my breath "Oh my God..." but did not tell The Boyfriend why until the first commercial.  I am sure it is my air of mystery that keeps him enthralled.

Speaking of The Boyfriend, he gave me the ATWT tie-in novel THE MAN FROM OAKDALE as a birthday gift Monday.  It is hugely enjoyable so far, with a fanwanky plot that takes in appearances from Sierra, Frannie and Sabrina, and Will and Gwen!  Henry and Vienna are characterized very well, with their written escapades being preferable to all the baby nonsense they are going through on the television show.  I wish there was a book such as this for ALL MY CHILDREN's Reese and Bianca, an engaging couple given short shrift on TV who might be a great pair to write a novel about.  I would love to read about their courtship and shacking up together, rather than see Reese fall through glass and get blinded by her heterosexual crush.

FRAUGHT SHADOWS

Work was very stressful today and I didn't have much time for viewing after work, only managing Episode 4 of DARK SHADOWS at around midnight.  Really, really good escapism when you're feeling a bit down.  My recent rewatching of DS also makes me think one episode a day is the best way to approach this show, which can seem annoyingly artificial when consumed en masse.

VIVA ALLEY MILLS!

How great was Alley Mills on THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL today?  It's tricky to get all dramatic when you're playing a comedic character but Alley pulled it off.  I felt so sorry for Pam!  Plus, Stephanie becomes 100% more likable when defending her sister.

THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS was also very good.  I enjoyed seeing Ely Pouget as Kay's doctor.  She was one of the stars of the short-lived '90s revival of DARK SHADOWS and also appeared in LA TAKEDOWN, Michael Mann's TV movie trial run for HEAT.  Hooray for surviving the '90s!

ALL MY CHILDREN was not so hot.  Despite interesting new characters like Taylor and Brot, Chuck Pratt's take on Pine Valley has amounted to a big heap of nothing.  I don't care about Zach and Kendall nor do I find it believable that Krystal would be so taken in by David.  Don't get me started on the travesty of Bianca and Reese and how daytime's first lesbian marriage was completely undone by having Reese kiss Zach the day before the wedding! 

ONE LIFE TO LIVE continues to thrive.  The way the plots intersect is ingenious and it's nice to see a show that makes room for fun supporting characters like Moe and Noelle while strengthening new characters like Ray and Stacy.  I am starting to see some serious chemistry between Dorian and Ray that I hope they run with!

DAYS OF OUR LIVES continues to be a bit meh.  Now that Sami is back in town and I've got a chance to see her interact with the 3 men in her life, I'm going to say Lucas is the man for her.  Alison Sweeney and Bryan Datillo are doing a very good job of interacting with the SORASed Will, who is certainly better looking than the old Will but hasn't quite convinced me yet that he is Sami and Lucas' offspring.

Speaking of unconvincing offspring, I have the ghastly feeling that Ethan on GENERAL HOSPITAL will be revealed as the son of Holly and/or Robert Scorpio in a blatant attempt to curry audience affection.  I'm not liking this "lovable scoundrel" one bit; he's not attractive or charming despite everyone on screen telling us he is!  He looks like a bad carbon copy of Tom Pelphrey.  In fact, could Ethan have been the role on GH that Tom Pelphrey was rumored to be up for, as hinted in SOAP OPERA DIGEST?  It would explain Ethan's look and bad boy behavior, which would seem tailor made for Tom -- who could actually have pulled this character off.

LOVED Olivia and Natalia on GUIDING LIGHT today!  Their scenes are so full of believable awkwardness and tension.  Curious to see how much Doris' newly exposed lesbianism will impact the rest of the show -- how about some emotional scenes with her daughter Ashlee, played by the fabulous but underused Caitlin Van Zandt?

Inspired by a new book by Jeff Thompson , THE TELEVISION HORRORS OF DAN CURTIS, I watched an episode of DARK SHADOWS for the first time in many, many months.  It was the second episode of the series and the biggest giggles came from Joan Bennett traipsing around her mansion at all hours of the night, in full evening gown and pearls.  She didn't so much project class as daftness, especially with the implication that she cooks everyone's meals and does the household chores in the same outfit!