NOAH FUCKS SOME SHIT UP

My bloodthirst was appeased by the 5/11 episode of AS THE WORLD TURNS, wherein Noah revealed previously unknown skills at shooting down day players. The look on Luke's face was priceless: "My boyfriend just shot someone! THAT'S HOT!!!"

The following Hunter-centric episode was also fun, but then we saw the preview for the next episode contained the toxic pairing of Paul and Meg, and the ATWT train screeched to a halt. I like Paul with Emily and no one else. I like Meg when she interacts with the rest of the Snyder family. Unfortunately, Paul and Meg together are a recipe for long, barely audible, illogical scenes of game playing, taunting and tedium.

SIX FEET UNDER

Didn't watch a lot of soaps tonight. I did see a bit of DAYS OF OUR LIVES; just enough to see that Casey Deidrick as Chad is HOT! Good bit of casting there. I wonder if hot young actors really do bring da kidz to da soapz or just older gay guys like me?

The bit I saw of THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS was wild. So Philip was never in his coffin? What is going on here? I love Kay bringing up the possibility that Philip's body was dumped out for illegal organ harvesting. In the real world, that actually makes more sense than dead people turning out to be alive and well after all. It's great to see Nina back to deal with the ramifications of this story but my '80s flashback will not be complete until Cricket turns up as well!

DILF DAY

In honor of Father's Day, I'd like to raise a pint to AS THE WORLD TURNS' Damian Grimaldi, Paolo Seganti, surely one of the sexiest older men on soaps today. No wonder Noah is always defending and praising Damian -- that's what his boyfriend Luke is going to look like in 20 years' time!

OW

My head is starting to hurt keeping DAYS OF OUR LIVES' baby drama straight  -- whose baby is whose and who has whose baby?  I saw a spoiler on the new cover of SOAP OPERA DIGEST that promises to either simplify matters or make things even more convoluted!

Speaking of plot twists, I am loving the return of Constance Towers as Helena to GENERAL HOSPITAL.  I love even more that Rebecca is NOT in cahoots with her!  My SOD INSIDER revealed who she is in cahoots with, leading me to utter a melodramatic, queeny shriek that startled The Boyfriend.  Also of note is the relationship between Claudia and Michael.  Even though she is an evil, manipulative cow I actually found myself warming up to Claudia for the first time as she grew closer to Sonny's son.  Is Sarah Brown playing the subtext that as Claudia loses her relationship with her brother Johnny she is gaining a kind of brother in Michael?  I think she is.

GUIDING LIGHT continues to be viewed only in GH's commercials, because I can't take a whole hour in Springfield nowadays.  The way of filming everything is so flat that a potentially exciting scene like Bill's arrest at the climax of today's episode only looks stagy and fake.  I will be watching this show more closely when Tom Pelphrey returns but even then I might just fast-forward to his scenes.  And if I feel this way and I like, often have loved, GL, how does the casual viewer feel when presented with this poor looking show as they flip channels?  GL could have the best story in the world but if the surface is so uninviting viewers are not going to make an effort to get involved in this world.  I genuinely hope other soaps learn lessons from the fatal cost cutting measures GL undertook to save their show, which only ended up destroying it.

MASONRY

Watching ONE LIFE TO LIVE recently has brought back many happy memories of Forbes March (pictured) as Nash, since Jessica was staying with Nash's parents and flashing back to the birth of their child.  I am thrilled that he is joining AS THE WORLD TURNS as Mason, Noah's gay college advisor.  I hope the show makes good use of him!

In theory, I should be loving Rafe and Sami on DAYS OF OUR LIVES as much as the fans and critics do, but I'm just not feeling it.  I think I resent the way that their scenes together scream LOVE THIS NEW SUPERCOUPLE!  Or I might just like Sami better with EJ or Lucas.

I do like Drew Garrett as the SORASed Michael on GENERAL HOSPITAL.  He might just be neck-and-neck with Mick Hazen as Parker on ATWT for the coveted title of Angriest Teen On Daytime With A Woman Named Carly As Their Mother.  Today's episode was also good for giving Alexis something to do and giving her a flirtation with Mark Pinter's character.  Have I mentioned as yet the gorgeousness of the new sets in eye popping High Definition?  The new nurse's station looks like it goes on for miles and miles.  I look forward to the next ball or party in Port Charles!

It is hard for me to summon up any enthusiasm for the dying, camera-phoned GUIDING LIGHT.  From scene to scene it is choppy, verging on the unwatchable.  The bits of it I saw today were only viewed during the commercials for GH.  I wonder if there's any chance that for its last week or so, GL could go back to full studio filming?

FASTER NOAH KILL KILL

The 4/28/09 episode of AS THE WORLD TURNS has one gobsmacking scene where Noah grabs Zoe's head BETWEEN HIS LEGS in order to prevent her from raping his boyfriend. (!!!!)  The violent side of my nature also enjoyed Damien threatening Zoe and Zac with a gun, and wishing he had shot up those fun lovin' criminals so they resembled swiss cheese.