DEMONS, MOBSTERS AND HOT CRIMINALS SLEEPING WITH THEIR STEPDAUGHTERS

Watching 90210 this morning I found myself distracted by Emma Caulfield, later to join the cast of BUFFY as the demon Anya.  Her presence makes me think that at any moment the cast will be swallowed by a Hellmouth.  Now wouldn't that enliven the current 90210 reboot to no end?

I saw the end of GENERAL HOSPITAL and was pleased to see Robert Scorpio alive and well and reunited with his family.  The last 2 episodes of NIGHT SHIFT are residing in the bowels of my DVR so the last I saw Robert things were looking pretty bleak.  Another pleasing aspect of GH today was the killing of Sasha because that means we are hopefully seeing the end of the tiresome Russian Mob storyline.

We are still waaaaaay behind in our AS THE WORLD TURNS viewing.  We watched 2 episodes tonight and have got 4 more to watch this weekend!  Finally saw Jack and Janet's wedding and there was much blubbing in the house.  I was particularly impressed with the way Julie Pinson handled the scene where Janet calmly and directly tells Carly to step off, bitch.  In other areas of viewing pleasure, Julie Pinson's former PORT CHARLES squeeze, Jon Lindstrom (pictured) is a wonderfully snarky, sexy Craig.  No one can replace Scott Bryce but Jon is a more than adequate substitute.  Dare I hope the same for the upcoming triple threat of recasts of Maddie, Jade and Lucy?

OUT OF CRUELTY COMES TRUTH

So I'm watching THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL and The Unemployed Boyfriend comes in, takes a look and says "Who's the old fucker?" I start screeching "You are sooooo MEAN! That's Jack Wagner!" His response? "It looks like they took his head and put it on someone else's body."
Meanness aside, The Unemployed Boyfriend has a point. Nick is soooooo....mature (ahem) that pairing him with the younger Katie is icky at best and just plain wrong at worst. How old is Katie supposed to be anyway? I remember her in the '80s with the acne and her crush on Rocco so shouldn't she be considerably older than the "kid sister" Katie has become?

Good thing ONE LIFE TO LIVE kept us both riveted (though I flipped during the commercials to DAYS OF OUR LIVES because I didn't get to check that out yesterday.) Jessica's grief is powerful in it's realistic intensity. Her smackdown of Natalie was well deserved and had my jaw hanging open. To his credit, The Unemployed Boyfriend yelled "OH FUCK OFF!" when he saw hateful Todd with baby Bree; I was too busy laughing at this wicked subversion of those cloying Oreo commercials.

DAYS OF OUR LIVES had interest for both of us as well. The Unemployed Boyfriend expressed his desire to be in the middle of a nerd sandwich as he gazed dreamily at Max and Nick. I expressed my desire to make a speech and say that my late Dad always dreamed of running an eco-unfriendly pub. I just find it highly unlikely that an old dude like Shawn Brady would EVER have expressed eco awareness. He was too busy pulling pints, cursing the DiMeras and crying "Oh Colleen!" Yeah, green issues are an important topic but they just don't fit into the world of soaps. Has anyone ever broken up with anyone else because they weren't making a seperate trash bag for the plastics?

Just when I thought GUIDING LIGHT couldn't get any worse -- it did! G is back and he's Cyrus' brother!!!??? This is the kind of thing Joss Whedon made fun of in BUFFY when he introduced Dawn as Buffy's previously unmentioned sister, only to reveal it was all an elaborate mind-fuck later in the season. Unfortunately, I don't think GL is joking. I have a horrible feeling that G and dull Daisy are being set up as the new Jonathan and Tammy -- forbidden love with a bad boy who is surprisingly related to a main character-- which is ironic because G killed Tammy! I really hope Cassie kills G; the writers can not explain away G's murder of Tammy as an accident because he was HIRED to kill Jonathan and she threw herself in front of G's speeding car! Nor will making him feel guilty redeem the character. This is a non-starter, folks.

On a more positive side, GENERAL HOSPITAL continued to pull our heartstrings with Spinelli and Maxie. My sympathy for him kept on swelling -- first Maxie mocks his moves, then she stands up for him to Kate, then Sonny is mean to him (He called him FREAK BOY! I'm rooting for the Zaccharahs now!) and then Stone Cold defends Spinelli...I can't get enough Spinelli/Maxie right now. Even The Unemployed Boyfriend is starting to sniffle and say "SOMEONE must fall in love with Spinelli EVENTUALLY!"

Happy Gay Pride Weekend to those in Los Angeles; The Boyfriend and I will be too busy practicing Unemployed Shame.