FRANCORAMA

It's been a very James Franco week for me. 127 HOURS watched, his reappearance on GENERAL HOSPITAL and his Oscar duties all commanded my attention. He appeared stoned and/or drunk as Oscar host but can you blame him on such a blah night? My household perked up when ex DARK SHADOWS and FALCON CREST actor David Selby briefly showed up in a clip from THE SOCIAL NETWORK, but we quickly lapsed back into drunken oblivion.

VIVIAN IS STILL IN THE COFFIN

..so I'm not really watching DAYS OF OUR LIVES right now, sorry! I love Louise Sorel (pictured) but this story should have lasted 2 days tops! This is the kind of crap that sunk PASSIONS.

I have been watching more of ONE LIFE TO LIVE, thanks to the casting of Kim Zimmer and Jessica Leccia from GUIDING LIGHT and Terri Columbino from AS THE WORLD TURNS. However, the hand of ex-ATWT writer Jean Passanante can be felt now that she writes for OLTL. This woman's credo? When in doubt on how to use a character, turn 'em psycho and get them out of town! Sigh.

That being said, I am really enjoying the Psycho Lisa storyline on GENERAL HOSPITAL. It is fascinating that Lisa wasn't killed off or sent to an asylum, as she continues to work at the hospital and everyone just has to deal with it. Today, when Sonny asked Robin if she wanted him to kill Lisa -- how many of us were screaming at the TV "SAY YES!!!" But it is in keeping with Robin's character that she wouldn't do that. Also good viewing was any scene with Adrienne Barbeau and/or Spinelli. I still want Suzanne to mix it up with more people, but her dumbfounded "Is that a kind of code?" response to Spinelli's babblings was very funny. I'm still hoping for Spinelli to get back with Maxie. They just don't sparkle with anyone else the same way.

JUDI, DREW AND A CRAPPY SHOW OR TWO

I only saw a bit of DAYS OF OUR LIVES today but was pleased to see Judi Evans back as Adrienne Kiriakis. I loved her recent stint as Maeve on AS THE WORLD TURNS and thought they could have done more with her and Holden.

GENERAL HOSPITAL was excellent today, even as I fear the dark storylines might be driving viewers away, judging by the low ratings. I don't know what has led to the recasting of Michael. Drew Garrett (pictured) is a powerhouse; if for some reason he can't do the show anymore I say throw Michael in jail and don't let him out until Drew can play him again. Aside from that, the scenes where Ethan and Luke talk about Luke's rape of Laura were powerful and well-written. I'm glad GH doesn't just sweep that under the carpet.

Because my DVR is full and I must tape CAPRICA tomorrow, I watched last week's GOSSIP GIRL, which was lukewarm. Who cares about Chuck's mother (even if she is played by MULHOLLAND DRIVE's Laura Harring) or Serena's father? This show should exist in a parentless vacuum. Let's hope the last episode is (was?) better.

NO GAY LIVES TO LIVE

TV GUIDE's website has broke the news that ONE LIFE TO LIVE's Kyle and Fish (Scott Evans, pictured) are out of the show. This is just appalling; OLTL should not get rid of a story generating, front burner couple with a fanbase, regardless of sexual orientation. I have never appreciated AS THE WORLD TURNS more for Luke, Noah, Doctor Reid and a host of other gay supporting characters.

So ATWT, OLTL and DOOL all air at the same time in Los Angeles. I will be taping ATWT, watching DOOL and ignoring OLTL unless they get their shit together. DOOL is very good right now. I used to be the biggest EJ/Sami supporter until recently, as EJ has gone past the point of no return with his babyknapping activities. Is the only person who can be paired with EJ now the equally dastardly Nicole?

GENERAL HOSPITAL was great today, with special mention having to be made of the way minor characters like Bernie's secretary and Alexis' receptionist are written and performed. They are given just enough twists of personality to make them interesting and fun so there is no filler in the show. Hooray for good writing and acting!

LEMON COUPLE?

In the current issue of SOAP OPERA DIGEST Carolyn Hinsey refers to the "lemon couples" of ALL MY CHILDREN: Brot/Natalia, JR/Marissa, Erica /Ryan and...Adam/Annie. REALLY? I dig Adam and Annie a lot -- a crazy old bastard paired with a young psycho, both played by great actors, makes for riveting viewing. If this pairing is a lemon, then it must be lemonade! (I can't believe I just wrote that.)

While I'm on the subject of SOD columnists, I read with interest Mala Bhattacharjee's blog where she expressed dismay at a South Asian actor appearing on THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL ...as a cab driver. Being half South Asian myself, I agree that there are much better roles for South Asian actors in soaps and TV, in general. For example, many South Asians work in the medical profession and that needs more representation now that ER is over. Also, 97% of South Asian women are beautiful and would seem a natural choice for soaps. I mostly appreciate color blind casting, where a person's ethnicity has nothing to do with the role, like Rekha Sharma in BATTLESTAR GALACTICA and V. More along those lines, please!

DAYS OF OUR LIVES continued to astonish. The confrontation in jail between Mia and Nicole was great because Mia said EVERYTHING you wanted to say to Nicole, and did NOT let up. "You're a MONSTER!" she wailed. I know the actress who plays Mia is like, 3 or something, but she rocked!

I also watched ONE LIFE TO LIVE, which showed off the chemistry between McBain and Natalie to good effect, and GENERAL HOSPITAL, where James Franco made his first appearance to the tune of MAD WORLD while wearing a hoodie. Very DONNIE DARKO.

GOODBYE TO PHIL?

It looks like Thom Bierdz is on his way out of THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS, if today's episode was any indication. I think that would be a real shame, as a romance between Philip and Rafe seems a no-brainer to me.

I am enjoying seeing Sarah Brown on THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL. Am I the only one who remembers how good she was on AS THE WORLD TURNS as Julia, an ordinary woman who nonetheless managed to bed both Jack and Holden and had the whole town gunning for her as a result? While on the subject of Julia, are ATWT viewers ever going to see Julia's son JJ again or is he stuck in the limbo of soap boarding school?

ALL MY CHILDREN continues to annoy and delight in equal doses. I like the Annie/Adam dynamic very much -- the rest, meh, especially Erica/Ryan, who I don't think anyone wants to see together! The Retired Mom called me up all frantic with worry that AMC's upcoming move to Los Angeles meant all her favorites leaving the cast. I hastened to reassure her that she's only losing Thorsten Kaye, but she wasn't having any of it. "What about Kendall?" "She's staying." "But she had a baby!" "She's on maternity leave." "Well, what about Tad? And Cameron?"and so on. I'm actually only checking out AMC lately since I read in SOAP OPERA DIGEST that Nancy Opel has joined the cast as the Chandler cook. This year I saw Nancy in her triple role onstage in THE TOXIC AVENGER and I can not wait to see her inject some levity into this show!

DAYS OF OUR LIVES was amazing. I was utterly gripped by the whole Nicole baby mess and entertained by the lighter storyline involving Carly and Vivian.

I also watched ONE LIFE TO LIVE -- Brian Kerwin was excellent today, but I didn't like how Natalie was going on about Jared keeping mints on his person at all times and how she loved it because that was BULLSHIT. When the frak did Natalie and Jared ever have these conversations? The writers shouldn't make up personal details for characters that weren't established onscreen beforehand.

GENERAL HOSPITAL was intriguing, but I had to cut my viewing short to go to work on my day off for a health benefits meeting. Hooray for job benefits, but universal health care for all can not come soon enough.

THESE CHARMING MEN

I'm enjoying DAYS OF OUR LIVES very much nowadays, and am pleased to see Wally Kurth back on the show. He was very good as Sam on AS THE WORLD TURNS last year and I felt ATWT shortchanged his character somewhat by turning him psycho and rapey since Wally just seems like such a nice guy! Here's hoping DOOL gives Justin Kiriakis more to do than defend people on trial.

You know who also seems like a nice guy? GENERAL HOSPITAL's Dominic Zamprogna, who plays Dominic/Dante. There is just something so likable and appealing about him; he has a sense of humor and he's cute! I've just finished watching Dominic's run on BATTLESTAR GALACTICA and he was terrific in a recurring role. Oddly enough, his GALACTICA character was also an undercover cop -- what is it about Dom that screams UNDERCOVER COP at casting people?!? Oh, and his relationship with his MILFtastic mama Olivia is a hoot. She slaps him alongside the head! And he lets her!

This run of charm came to an end with today's viewing of GUIDING LIGHT. I sat there hoping Tom Pelphrey would be in today's show, to no avail. He wasn't in yesterday's show either. I watched the first two episodes of his return and was disappointed at the scarcity of air time and lack of interaction with the other players. I didn't bother to tape Monday or Tuesday's episodes but caught the last two live. If I see that damn convenience store one more time used as a way for characters to interact I'm gonna send Ellen Wheeler CORONATION STREET so she can see that corner shop drama doesn't have to be crap. Oh wait -- there's no point because GL is over! How weird is it to know that no matter how you feel about the current state of GL there is nothing you can do about it because the show has just stopped?!

OW

My head is starting to hurt keeping DAYS OF OUR LIVES' baby drama straight  -- whose baby is whose and who has whose baby?  I saw a spoiler on the new cover of SOAP OPERA DIGEST that promises to either simplify matters or make things even more convoluted!

Speaking of plot twists, I am loving the return of Constance Towers as Helena to GENERAL HOSPITAL.  I love even more that Rebecca is NOT in cahoots with her!  My SOD INSIDER revealed who she is in cahoots with, leading me to utter a melodramatic, queeny shriek that startled The Boyfriend.  Also of note is the relationship between Claudia and Michael.  Even though she is an evil, manipulative cow I actually found myself warming up to Claudia for the first time as she grew closer to Sonny's son.  Is Sarah Brown playing the subtext that as Claudia loses her relationship with her brother Johnny she is gaining a kind of brother in Michael?  I think she is.

GUIDING LIGHT continues to be viewed only in GH's commercials, because I can't take a whole hour in Springfield nowadays.  The way of filming everything is so flat that a potentially exciting scene like Bill's arrest at the climax of today's episode only looks stagy and fake.  I will be watching this show more closely when Tom Pelphrey returns but even then I might just fast-forward to his scenes.  And if I feel this way and I like, often have loved, GL, how does the casual viewer feel when presented with this poor looking show as they flip channels?  GL could have the best story in the world but if the surface is so uninviting viewers are not going to make an effort to get involved in this world.  I genuinely hope other soaps learn lessons from the fatal cost cutting measures GL undertook to save their show, which only ended up destroying it.

MASONRY

Watching ONE LIFE TO LIVE recently has brought back many happy memories of Forbes March (pictured) as Nash, since Jessica was staying with Nash's parents and flashing back to the birth of their child.  I am thrilled that he is joining AS THE WORLD TURNS as Mason, Noah's gay college advisor.  I hope the show makes good use of him!

In theory, I should be loving Rafe and Sami on DAYS OF OUR LIVES as much as the fans and critics do, but I'm just not feeling it.  I think I resent the way that their scenes together scream LOVE THIS NEW SUPERCOUPLE!  Or I might just like Sami better with EJ or Lucas.

I do like Drew Garrett as the SORASed Michael on GENERAL HOSPITAL.  He might just be neck-and-neck with Mick Hazen as Parker on ATWT for the coveted title of Angriest Teen On Daytime With A Woman Named Carly As Their Mother.  Today's episode was also good for giving Alexis something to do and giving her a flirtation with Mark Pinter's character.  Have I mentioned as yet the gorgeousness of the new sets in eye popping High Definition?  The new nurse's station looks like it goes on for miles and miles.  I look forward to the next ball or party in Port Charles!

It is hard for me to summon up any enthusiasm for the dying, camera-phoned GUIDING LIGHT.  From scene to scene it is choppy, verging on the unwatchable.  The bits of it I saw today were only viewed during the commercials for GH.  I wonder if there's any chance that for its last week or so, GL could go back to full studio filming?

WHO WILL DIE ON ALL MY CHILDREN?

I reckon it will be Ryan, because Cameron Mathison has received more exposure from DANCING WITH THE STARS and has seen his hosting duties increase elsewhere.  Plus, everyone seems to hate Ryan being paired with Kendall, so it seems logical for AMC to cut their losses with this character.

I was stuck in ONE LIFE TO LIVE prom land today, what with this afternoon's episode and the musical episode from 2 years ago that Soap Net reran Sunday.  (Though, typically, it was a special 2 part event and Soap Net only ran one part.)  The Pussycat Dolls' English language rendition of "Jai Ho" was horrid, but at least it was limited to the prom so we didn't have to witness Dorian and Vicki pretending to get down to those cheesy skanks.

DAYS OF OUR LIVES entertained me with the scenes between Nicole and Sami.  Their current predicament is so bizarre.  Nicole has Sami's baby but Sami doesn't know it.  Sami has what she thinks is her baby but is actually Mia's but she is passing it off as someone else's.  Nicole knows Sami is lying about her (Sami's) baby but she won't say anything because she (Nicole) wants to hold onto her (Sami's) baby.  So both women are playing a dangerous game which can play out for years if we are unlucky.

Writing that down exhausted me.  I must mention how fabulous GENERAL HOSPITAL looks in High Definition, and how awful GUIDING LIGHT looks in lower-than-low definition.  Did you notice that GL did not obstruct the Abercrombie & Fitch logo on James' jacket?  Could this be because GL forces the actors to wear those own clothes to shooting and the performers don't want their clothes destroyed by gaffing tape?

R.I.P. EILEEN HERLIE

Just watched the 12/20/2008 episode of ALL MY CHILDREN that was a special tribute to Eileen Herlie, who played Myrtle.  Wonderfully touching and sad.  I defy anyone to watch the clips of Myrtle accepting Bianca after she came out without welling up with tears.

Also rearing up from the depths of my DVR was the final episode of DAYS OF OUR LIVES to feature Deidre Hall and Drake Hogestyn as Marlena and John.  It was well acted, but a bit rushed.  Did they have to make John Black almost completely immobile in order to get rid of him?  Such an odd end to a legendary character.

To concentrate on today's soap episodes, I am really absorbed by GENERAL HOSPITAL's tale of post-partum depression.  Every wrong move Robin makes startles me, and Patrick's reactions feel authentic.  It's a pity such an honest story stands the risk of being drowned in more mob intrigue and the shenanigans of the unlikable and uncharismatic Ethan.  On another plus side, the scenes between Nicolas, Rebecca, Lucky and Elizabeth were meaty, allowing us to play with the possibility of a Lucky/Rebecca coupling.  Hmmmmm...it could work.

I'm very happy to hear that Don Diamont is joining the cast of THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL to hopefully cut through this near-incestuous knot the show has webbed itself into.  (Quick!  Someone stop that metaphor!)  Of course Thomas tried to kill Rick!  As Thomas himself pointed out, Rick killed his (Thomas') sister and slept with his other sister and mother!!  This show needs a new character who is NOT related to anyone on the canvas!

I also watched episode 5 of DARK SHADOWS.  The mystery of Victoria Winter's parentage is brought up, but a greater mystery is why wasn't this ever resolved?  It's the frakkin' premise of the ENTIRE SHOW!!  Surely the writers in later years could have come up with a way to tie the reveal of Victoria's true family history into the supernatural?  In later years of DS, sometimes the show is just one event after another, with no indication of how the characters are affected emotionally.  Characters cease to have personal goals as they traipse through timelines until all sense of the personalities of the present day characters is lost.  I bet if DS had stayed in contemporary Collinwood, it would still be on the air today.  Character always wins out over plot in the world of daytime drama.

WHY CAN'T RON CARLIVATI BE HEAD WRITER FOR AS THE WORLD TURNS?

As I watched yesterday and today's episodes of ONE LIFE TO LIVE, I was struck by how much more involving Llanview is than Oakdale.  Plots intersect, scenes end on hooks that keep you watching through the commercials, and characters interact in believable ways even when the stories are a trifle far-fetched.  Meanwhile, ATWT episodes from the beginning of February languish in my DVR.  Que lastima.

GENERAL HOSPITAL has been hit-and-miss lately, but today's episode was mostly hit.  I enjoyed Alexis covering for a hiding Winifred by claiming Winifred's muffled intake of breath was a fart.  I like the interplay between Olivia and Sonny, and the quietly shocking story of Robin running away to flirt with bartenders who have opera tickets.  (Unlike Robin, I would have gone to the opera, but hey, I'm easy that way.)

I watched a little bit of DAYS OF OUR LIVES and was pleased to see more Mya.  She underplays everything and I think she'll be a good match with Will.  Plus, I am a sentimental sucker for performers that were only supposed to be short-term but wind up with contracts.  More Mya and less Molly Burnett please!  I especially hated how Melanie played the "I'm only 18!" card today.  You can't expect to be taken seriously as a business woman only to blame your missteps on youthful folly!  (That is the most ridiculously Victorian phrase I have ever used in my writing, ever.)  Mya revealing all to Tony DiMera is potentially a good twist, but ruined for me by the knowledge that Tony will not be in the show for much longer.

Watched the scene on You Tube where GUIDING LIGHT's Grady gets pushed off a cliff.  Well, at least a dummy of Kane Manera did, anyway.  Hooray!  I can't believe we're supposed to feel sorry for Daisy!  To paraphrase Joy Behar, "Who cares?  So what?"

To return to OLTL, wasn't it fun to see Dan Gauthier show up on LOST as Jeff Fahey's co-pilot?  I always melodramatically overreact to surprise appearances of ex-soap stars in my favorite shows.  When his name appeared in the credits, I murmured under my breath "Oh my God..." but did not tell The Boyfriend why until the first commercial.  I am sure it is my air of mystery that keeps him enthralled.

Speaking of The Boyfriend, he gave me the ATWT tie-in novel THE MAN FROM OAKDALE as a birthday gift Monday.  It is hugely enjoyable so far, with a fanwanky plot that takes in appearances from Sierra, Frannie and Sabrina, and Will and Gwen!  Henry and Vienna are characterized very well, with their written escapades being preferable to all the baby nonsense they are going through on the television show.  I wish there was a book such as this for ALL MY CHILDREN's Reese and Bianca, an engaging couple given short shrift on TV who might be a great pair to write a novel about.  I would love to read about their courtship and shacking up together, rather than see Reese fall through glass and get blinded by her heterosexual crush.

VIVA ALLEY MILLS!

How great was Alley Mills on THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL today?  It's tricky to get all dramatic when you're playing a comedic character but Alley pulled it off.  I felt so sorry for Pam!  Plus, Stephanie becomes 100% more likable when defending her sister.

THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS was also very good.  I enjoyed seeing Ely Pouget as Kay's doctor.  She was one of the stars of the short-lived '90s revival of DARK SHADOWS and also appeared in LA TAKEDOWN, Michael Mann's TV movie trial run for HEAT.  Hooray for surviving the '90s!

ALL MY CHILDREN was not so hot.  Despite interesting new characters like Taylor and Brot, Chuck Pratt's take on Pine Valley has amounted to a big heap of nothing.  I don't care about Zach and Kendall nor do I find it believable that Krystal would be so taken in by David.  Don't get me started on the travesty of Bianca and Reese and how daytime's first lesbian marriage was completely undone by having Reese kiss Zach the day before the wedding! 

ONE LIFE TO LIVE continues to thrive.  The way the plots intersect is ingenious and it's nice to see a show that makes room for fun supporting characters like Moe and Noelle while strengthening new characters like Ray and Stacy.  I am starting to see some serious chemistry between Dorian and Ray that I hope they run with!

DAYS OF OUR LIVES continues to be a bit meh.  Now that Sami is back in town and I've got a chance to see her interact with the 3 men in her life, I'm going to say Lucas is the man for her.  Alison Sweeney and Bryan Datillo are doing a very good job of interacting with the SORASed Will, who is certainly better looking than the old Will but hasn't quite convinced me yet that he is Sami and Lucas' offspring.

Speaking of unconvincing offspring, I have the ghastly feeling that Ethan on GENERAL HOSPITAL will be revealed as the son of Holly and/or Robert Scorpio in a blatant attempt to curry audience affection.  I'm not liking this "lovable scoundrel" one bit; he's not attractive or charming despite everyone on screen telling us he is!  He looks like a bad carbon copy of Tom Pelphrey.  In fact, could Ethan have been the role on GH that Tom Pelphrey was rumored to be up for, as hinted in SOAP OPERA DIGEST?  It would explain Ethan's look and bad boy behavior, which would seem tailor made for Tom -- who could actually have pulled this character off.

LOVED Olivia and Natalia on GUIDING LIGHT today!  Their scenes are so full of believable awkwardness and tension.  Curious to see how much Doris' newly exposed lesbianism will impact the rest of the show -- how about some emotional scenes with her daughter Ashlee, played by the fabulous but underused Caitlin Van Zandt?

Inspired by a new book by Jeff Thompson , THE TELEVISION HORRORS OF DAN CURTIS, I watched an episode of DARK SHADOWS for the first time in many, many months.  It was the second episode of the series and the biggest giggles came from Joan Bennett traipsing around her mansion at all hours of the night, in full evening gown and pearls.  She didn't so much project class as daftness, especially with the implication that she cooks everyone's meals and does the household chores in the same outfit!

THE HOURGLASS IS RUNNING OUT

With the news that DAYS OF OUR LIVES is getting rid of Patch and Kayla, I have to wonder just how long this show can continue.  I think it's time for a deathmatch between DOOL and GUIDING LIGHT.  Which will be cancelled first?  My money is on DOOL.  At least GL is trying to lure viewers with pseudo lesbians and Phillip Happens Here. (The latter is GL's bewildering new ad slogan for the return of Grant Aleksander.  Are they trying to compare him to shit?!?) All DOOL is doing is driving viewers away by firing their favorite actors!

I saw a little bit of ONE LIFE TO LIVE tonight and was happy to see Scott Clifton.  I loved the hell out of him as Dillon on GENERAL HOSPITAL, and that's not just because my boyfriend was a film major in college as well!  I'm not sure what OLTL has planned for Scott's new character of Mr. J.  I would love for him to find out Todd's involvement in his Mom's death, leading to a final, definite Death of Todd story but we all know that's not going to happen.  Yes, all soaps need a good villain, but isn't Todd past the point of redemption many times over?

LESBIANS AND LOST

The powers that be have really got to stop pushing Reese and Zach together on ALL MY CHILDREN.  How many times does Reese or Zach have to get upset and hug or kiss each other just as Bianca walks in?  I am sick of it!

DAYS OF OUR LIVES is an odd show to watch right now.  With Drake Hogestyn and Deidre Hall's days (ho, ho) numbered, the show makes for uneasy viewing.  John and Marlena are what DOOL is about!  There is some comfort to be had from the show's other veteran supercouples.  Bo and Hope had some good scenes today just chatting about how hard it is to make time to be with each other.  Good, non-melodramatic character stuff.

I was amused by the faux-lesbian kiss on GUIDING LIGHT.  I found Natalia's scene with Emma's teacher, explaining that she and Olivia are not a couple but that doesn't make them any less of a family, to be surprisingly moving.  In fact, I think this is the first time EVER that I've found Jessica Leccia warm and appealing!  Unfortunately, it seems to me that GL is trying to have its cake and eat it, too.  They can have Jessica and Crystal Chappell's chemistry as a couple without having to take the step of making them a sexual couple and enraging homophobes.  Look here Ellen Wheeler -- take the Lesbian Leap.  Your show's only getting 1.4 million viewers!  How could making Olivia and Natalia actual lesbians actually hurt the show?

On the other side of my remote that hour was GENERAL HOSPITAL.  So, how dead is Leyla now that she's found happiness with an off-screen fiance?  I see on the SOAP OPERA DIGEST website that Nadine is off as well, even though she claims she won't be engulfed in the balls of flame set to destroy the nurses' station.  I'll be watching, mental fire extinguisher at my side.

My non-soap viewing tonight was the season premiere of LOST, featuring the ubiquitous ex-NEIGHBOURS actor Alan Dale.  I've mentioned him before on this blog, so suffice to say how good he is at playing evil businessmen with a minimum of screen time that cast a shadow over their entire show.  Alan is such a reliable corporate baddie, I fully expect to see him pop up in every show I watch, one time or the other.  Has he met with the producers of MAD MEN or 30 ROCK yet?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I felt a little like saying "Bah humbug!" hearing Jana blather on about V8 on THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS and I still just can't find myself caring about Devon, Ana, or Ana's mom.  Yet the good gradually pushed out the bad on Y&R, with the Victor flashbacks and Kay regaining her memory being particularly jolting.

THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL was also very good, with Bradley Bell's holiday wishes at the end of the show seeming rightfully earned.  This is a producer who knows when his show is working and when it isn't.  Right now it is working very well.  The sentimentality of the holidays must be getting to me because I didn't even mind Granpa Jack Wagner proposing to his child bride!  Oh wait...

I saw a bit of today's ALL MY CHILDREN rerun.  Not really feeling the tornado drama, unfortunately, since another tornado episode is being rerun Christmas Day.  Still, nice that they brought back Bianca, and I really don't mind that they retconned the story so Zach is the father of her baby.

I saw some of DOOL, OLTL's rerun and the last half of GH's Christmas episode, but you know what?  It's Christmas and I've got some words of cheer.  Last year I was completely unemployed and at a real low.  This year my life has turned around.  I have a great job, a great boyfriend (who has a great new job) and an adorable cat.  I have fabulous friends all over the world!  I have a Ghetto Fabulous Mom who I have to thank for introducing me to soaps at a young age.  The nation as a whole is in state of optimism, and I like riding that wave for once.  I am so happy right now with my life, and I am glad that I've always had soaps for fun and escapism, through good times and bad.

So please,  have a Happy Holiday or at least go out and see a good movie.  And if you can't do that, check out the vintage Y&R episode on CBS and the GH Christmas episode mini-marathon on SoapNet!  I hope everyone's day is joyous and soapy.

FRUSTRATIONS

I was watching last Friday's DAYS OF OUR LIVES on SoapNet this morning and wondering just how long can Nicole possibly bar EJ from her bedroom to hide her fake pregnancy bump?  And doesn't that defeat her purpose since she is only pretending to be pregnant so she won't lose EJ?

I saw a little bit of GENERAL HOSPITAL.  I like Claudia with Ric, mainly because I dig Sarah Brown and Rick Hearst.  Yet there is really no good reason why Claudia isn't sleeping with the fishes as yet.  I know the show is playing on the tension between Claudia and Sonny, with the constant threat that Sonny will find her out and kill her, but since we know Sarah Brown is on contract we also know Claudia will not be shot full of lead.  Pity.

After a run of great episodes (remember, I am a week behind in my DVR catchup) AS THE WORLD TURNS stumbled with last Wednesday's episode.  The jury is out on the new actress playing Jade, but her introduction was horrendously clunky.  We are asked to suspend our disbelief twice in one scene, with the consequence that the whole story feels forced and artificial.  First, Derek recognizes Rose when he sees Lily, but Noelle Beck has never played Rose and is frankly unimaginable as a working class showgirl from New Jersey.  Second, when Lily pulls out the picture of Jade any viewer with a memory of the last 2 years will have to make the mental leap to accept the recast.  So Derek is recognizing a character who we can't visualize and then being shown a photo of another character we can't recognize.  It's like something out of SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK!!  I could forgive all this if it meant Martha Byrne was going to return as Lily and expose Noelle Beck's Lily as really being Rose but that is only going to happen in my fevered imagination.  And I will miss the original Jade, Elena Goode, who had an easy rapport with Van Hansis.

DEMONS, MOBSTERS AND HOT CRIMINALS SLEEPING WITH THEIR STEPDAUGHTERS

Watching 90210 this morning I found myself distracted by Emma Caulfield, later to join the cast of BUFFY as the demon Anya.  Her presence makes me think that at any moment the cast will be swallowed by a Hellmouth.  Now wouldn't that enliven the current 90210 reboot to no end?

I saw the end of GENERAL HOSPITAL and was pleased to see Robert Scorpio alive and well and reunited with his family.  The last 2 episodes of NIGHT SHIFT are residing in the bowels of my DVR so the last I saw Robert things were looking pretty bleak.  Another pleasing aspect of GH today was the killing of Sasha because that means we are hopefully seeing the end of the tiresome Russian Mob storyline.

We are still waaaaaay behind in our AS THE WORLD TURNS viewing.  We watched 2 episodes tonight and have got 4 more to watch this weekend!  Finally saw Jack and Janet's wedding and there was much blubbing in the house.  I was particularly impressed with the way Julie Pinson handled the scene where Janet calmly and directly tells Carly to step off, bitch.  In other areas of viewing pleasure, Julie Pinson's former PORT CHARLES squeeze, Jon Lindstrom (pictured) is a wonderfully snarky, sexy Craig.  No one can replace Scott Bryce but Jon is a more than adequate substitute.  Dare I hope the same for the upcoming triple threat of recasts of Maddie, Jade and Lucy?

OMFG BRIAN NO!!!

I hate to say it, but THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS storyline of Kay living Marge's life is just not going to work because Kay has amnesia. If you look at ONE LIFE TO LIVE approximately one year ago, Viki was living a new life as a waitress by choice and it was terrific seeing her life (and the show) expand because of the choices she made. Kay is not living Marge's life by choice but by circumstance. What we now have on Y&R is a situation with no characterization.

On THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL, we are now getting an unexpected, but welcome, bit of characterization with Bad Rick. I'm enjoying Bad Rick a great deal. You have to admire anyone who thinks they can seduce women while hobbling around on a cane. Otherwhere in the episode, Ridge eating sushi off of Brooke's body was more funny than sexy. It looked delicious but my brain kept on screaming "You need soy sauce and wasabi, people!" Would it have been too messy for Brooke to dribble packets of soy sauce on her arms and put some lumps of green wasabi in her belly button? Probably.

Speaking of messes -- HOLY SHIT is DAYS OF OUR LIVES on a kamikaze mission or what? By now the news of Deidre Hall and Drake Hogestyn being let go overshadows everything, but I was still indignant at today's episode. Is this the last we see of Nick?!? I hope not. Blake Berris did a fantastic acting job as Psycho Stalker Nick, but the change in character is unbelievable and the attempt to make Nick's accidental killing of Willow now semi-intentional is just risible. I will give DOOL kudos for the scene where Chelsea and Steph laid into Melanie for causing Nick to go off the deep end, because that is exactly how the audience feels! I don't think it was smart to introduce a new character, pair her off with an established fan favorite and then have him turn Psycho Stalker on her. Doesn't exactly make you like the newbie...

ONE LIFE TO LIVE is very compelling lately. I love the highly theatrical presentation of Jessica's three personalities. The cage with mirror shards representing her mind is simple and effective, and the large screens showing the outside world are also well-used. Hooray for good set decoration!

GENERAL HOSPITAL generally has good sets, but it was so boring today that I actually spent most of my 2-3PM soap viewing switched over to praqctically set-less GUIDING LIGHT. (!!!!) Here is GH today: mob war, mob war, blah, blah, Zaccarah, blah, Bensonhurst, blah, Claudia, yadda yadda. I do like Olivia a lot, but how much newly invented backstory for Sonny can they cram into his life before he came to Port Charles?

GUIDING LIGHT was a highly schizophrenic viewing experience. On one hand you've got Reva with leaukemia and a pregnancy, and it is a daring, original story. I tell ya, Kim Zimmer and Elizabeth Hubbard will be battling it out with duelling hospital bed scenes come Emmy time next year! On the other hand, soooo much of the show is now revolving around G/Grady/Gillespie, it's ludicrous. Kane Manera is a very limited actor, and he can not hit all the beats expected of him -- charming one moment, scary the next, a bit of both sometime. Plus, pair him with a good actress like Caitlin Van Zandt and his defects are all too apparent. Really, when it became clear that Cassie was not going to be part of the show for much longer, they should have had her kill Grady as revenge for Tammy's death. Then she could have gone on the run and two annoying residents of Springfield would be off our screens.

AS THE WORLD TURNS continued its upward swing today. (Have I mentioned that the show's been so good that I am finally caught up? Woohoo!) Laurence Lau excelled today in his scenes with Elizabeth Hubbard and Van Hansis. He was so good I almost started to think that Luke imagined the drunken kiss as well! I think Brian really does love Lucinda, but he can't help being attracted to Luke (can you really blame him?) and is going to repress that attraction at all costs...until it erupts again. Mistletoe at the Snyder farm in the Kitchen Of Lust, perhaps?

GOODBYE DYLAN BRUCE

My first episode to watch in my sizable AS THE WORLD TURNS backlog was the one from the 15th, which was Dylan Bruce's last episode. He seemed so sad throughout; it made for heartbreaking viewing. What are the producers thinking? Dylan is gorgeous, charismatic and can act. He has great rapport with Bob Hastings and Kathryn Hays. He is the first Chris Hughes I have seen that works for me. Chris is an integral part of Oakdale, and a Chris/Emily/Alison/Casey/Dani plot practically writes itself. If someone has to be let go to pay for Grayson McCouch's return, I think Agim Kaba would be a better choice. Aaron has become increasingly unlikable and strident, with few storyline prospects. While I have enjoyed Agim's performance in the past, especially his scenes with Van Hansis, the current writing team is not playing to his strengths. I think Chris Goutman and Jean Passanante have made a huge mistake in getting rid of Dylan Bruce and his character of Chris Hughes.

On a lighter note, GOSSIP GIRL was positively crackling tonight, which was a relief after last week's lumpy episode. I will even forgive the completely horrendous cover of The Smiths' HOW SOON IS NOW that played, as I hope its inclusion was a sign of Agnes' evil nature. Anyone who loves that version of a classic song is clearly a minion of Satan.

I saw some of GENERAL HOSPITAL tonight. Having not watched the show for a couple of weeks, I was struck by how the tone of the show is all over the place. The scenes I saw, one after the other, were:
1) Nadine and Nicolas engage in romantic comedy banter
2) Lulu nutty in a straitjacket
3) Laura and Scott rehashing their complicated backstory in a plane
4) Luke and Tracy shooting at people in Mexico
NONE of these story threads felt connected to the other. (And I haven't even mentioned everything going on with Patrick and Robin!) GH has ceased to be about anything. Compare this to the GH spinoff, NIGHT SHIFT, which works because it is entirely concentrated in the hospital, which allows the cast and plots to be tighter. The sprawling GH currently seems to be functioning on the principle of throwing everything at a wall and seeing what sticks.