HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

To celebrate Mother's Day, here is a picture of Carol Potter as Cindy Walsh, mom to Brenda and Brandon Walsh in the early, good, charming years of BEVERLY HILLS 90210.  Give me down-to-earth-but-cool Cindy to GOSSIP GIRL's scheming, manipulative, selfish Lily any day!                         

How weird is it that tonight's GG is a backdoor pilot to a LILY spin-off? What  odd apres Mother's Day viewing for a nation of teen girls probably forced to spend time with their Moms the day before.  I think the producers' desire to do an eighties era John Hughes movie (complete with Andrew McCarthy!) every week will be awkward, but I'll reserve full judgement until I see the thing.

TORI SPELLING: AUTEUR

This morning's 90210 rerun was directed by Tori Spelling.  She did a decent job until a scene with Randy Spelling where he is supposed to be doing amusing things behind Janet's back, which failed miserably.  The bit where Donna calls David to tell him to watch SLEEPAWAY CAMP and SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE was equally unconvincing.  The only fun to be had was a walk-on by Eva Longoria as a stewardess, since I realized I could be suffering through DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES instead.

INFINITE JEST, 90210 STYLE

My breakfast viewing of 90210 reruns on SoapNet entered a strange era of the show I am not familiar with at all.  Dylan is leading a community center for drug addict rehab and fucking up anyone who gets in the way?  When did this happen?!?

My after work viewing of SoapNet's YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS marathon yielded the astonishing scenes where Sharon actually, literally begs Phyllis not to tell Jack about her affair with Billy.  Yikes, Sharon was a frakkin' mess!  I liked how she slipped up and mentioned Brad instead of Billy, indicating how this is all some serious post-Brad trauma.  It may annoy when Y&R kills off beloved characters but at least the show plays out the consequences.

100 POSTS! and BONE MARROW BLUES

Wow!  This is my hundredth blog entry!  By pure coincidence, I watched the New Year's Eve episode of AS THE WORLD TURNS tonight, which was a kind of celebration of why I watch soaps through its sheer excellence.  It was just one great scene after another -- Lucinda yells at Jade, Billy Magnussen gets naked except for his wristwatch and Luke drunkenly kisses Brian, ruining his chances of a New Year's Eve virginity losing fuckfest with Noah.  Whew!  My New Year's Eve sucked royally but watching this episode actually made me realize it could have been much, much worse.  I did not kiss my step-grandfather nor did I have the chance of sex with Billy Magnussen and turn it down.   The only couple on ATWT enjoying the New Year were Bonnie and Derek, who are fast growing on me because Chauntee Schuler is too pretty not to have a storyline and Benton Greene is supercool when he yells at Jade.  Actually, everyone is cool when they yell at Jade and her scenes with Luke and Lucinda in this episode were gems. And it goes without saying that Van/Jake and Billy/Marnie broke my heart.

This episode was sandwiched in my viewing today between bone marrow melodramas.  The vintage  episode of 90210 I caught half of this morning was ridiculously tawdry, as Valerie contemplated if it was the right thing to donate her bone marrow to a dying child molester.  Last Friday's ATWT was also full of the marrow o'bone, relieved somewhat by snarky Craig.  This week looks unmissable if the trailer is anything to go by -- "your gay husband", indeed.  I love that Casey and Alleycat will be bringing Nuke back together.  Having the cutest couples on the show interact can only be a good thing.

JAMES SCOTT FOR NEW DOCTOR WHO!!!

Hey, why not?  He's hot, he's British, and DAYS OF OUR LIVES surely will be gone before 2010 at the rate they're going through their cast so I say goodbye EJ DiMera and hello DOCTOR WHO!  Hell, in less than 10 hours all speculation will be moot so see this as the last hurrah for 11th Doctor musings.

In less topical topics, I was entertained by the first half of a BEVERLY HILLS 90210 rerun this morning where Valerie has to buy Kelly a Christmas gift for highly contrived reasons.  Why doesn't one of those girls just leave the room when her sworn enemy enters it?  Because then there would be NO SHOW.

NOT NOW, CASSIE

I was surprised to see GUIDING LIGHT'S last Cassie, Nicole Forester, on this morning's BEVERLY HILLS 90210 rerun.  I didn't think she had ever done a soap before GL.  Unfortunately, my first impulse at the sight of Ms. Forester is to scream "Not now, Cassie!" at the TV -- my Pavlovian response to the ever annoying Cassie, a character so irritating you just wished Reva would smack her one.  Not Ms. Forester's fault, though; her portrayal was good, particularly in the aftermath of Tammy's death.

Speaking of recasts gone wrong  -- caught up with last Tuesday's episode of AS THE WORLD TURNS, which was a real showcase for the new Maddie, Kelly Barrett.  Sadly, unlike the fantastic Billy Magnusson, Ms. Barrett is unable to connect with material that was enacted by her predecessor.  Just think how moving her reunions with Noah and Casey would be if Maddie was still played by Alexandra Chando.  Kelly Barrett just does not possess the sparky vulnerabilty that Alexandra Chando had, that made Maddie a real heroine.  I'm all for giving Noah a friend (that boy has nobody to talk to!) but so far NuMadddie is just not convincing.  Besides the recast, NuMaddie is also written as sexually aggressive -- something the sexually abused old Maddie would never be.  I think it's time for the ATWT writers to either cut this character loose, or make Alex Chando a deal.

STATING THE OBVIOUS

It is utterly absurd that 90210 once thought Tori Spelling was the ideal choice for a continuing story about drug addiction.  I defy anyone to watch Donna descend into prescription painkiller dependence without giggling.

Speaking of inappropriate laughter, we found ourselves chuckling at Katherine slipping on the ice in YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS.  Jeanne Cooper is a real trooper -- she's a gazillion years old and is still as game for anything as when she starred in Roger Corman cheapies in the '50s and '60s.  I am loving whoever it was that decided to show the 1989 episode of Y&R on Christmas Day.  It was nostalgic and campy, yet also narratively compelling.  Plus, there was a funny meta-joke that had Marge sitting down to watch THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL!  Please, SoapNet, how about a few vintage Y&R episodes to replace the Sunday Night Movie?  (I do not dare to suggest SoapNet air something in place of 90210 reruns.  The very thought of that causes heads to explode around the SoapNet offices.)

SYMPATHY FOR THE BRIAN

Very, very impressed with last Tuesday's episode of AS THE WORLD TURNS.  Brian could have been demonized, but instead good writing and Laurence Lau's performance have resulted in an unusually sympathetic character.  His scenes with Van Hansis were superb and it was refreshing that they spoke openly about sex and attraction.  (I also appreciated the little touch of explaining why Lucinda, Brian and Luke were not at Jack and Janet's wedding.)  Compare the thoughtfulness of this story with the similar plot of Nora's husband on ONE LIFE TO LIVE a few years back, who went totally psycho to hide his homosexuality.  ATWT's portrayal of a sadly closeted man is much more nuanced and thus makes for a much more rewarding story.

The rest of the episode was great, too.  Maura West and Jon Lindstrom were clearly enjoying sparking off one another, Dani's exit was well handled (and her scenes with "Daddy" Craig amusingly blaaargh) and I loved Margo going all Jane Tennison on everyone's ass.  On the opposite end of the quality spectrum was the episode of 90210 I saw half of with breakfast before scuttling off to work.  Valerie's been raped, Donna's popping pills and important issues are being turned into problems-of-the-week that will be forgotten by the next episode.  At this stage of its run, 90210 is like a never ending Lifetime TV movie.

DEMONS, MOBSTERS AND HOT CRIMINALS SLEEPING WITH THEIR STEPDAUGHTERS

Watching 90210 this morning I found myself distracted by Emma Caulfield, later to join the cast of BUFFY as the demon Anya.  Her presence makes me think that at any moment the cast will be swallowed by a Hellmouth.  Now wouldn't that enliven the current 90210 reboot to no end?

I saw the end of GENERAL HOSPITAL and was pleased to see Robert Scorpio alive and well and reunited with his family.  The last 2 episodes of NIGHT SHIFT are residing in the bowels of my DVR so the last I saw Robert things were looking pretty bleak.  Another pleasing aspect of GH today was the killing of Sasha because that means we are hopefully seeing the end of the tiresome Russian Mob storyline.

We are still waaaaaay behind in our AS THE WORLD TURNS viewing.  We watched 2 episodes tonight and have got 4 more to watch this weekend!  Finally saw Jack and Janet's wedding and there was much blubbing in the house.  I was particularly impressed with the way Julie Pinson handled the scene where Janet calmly and directly tells Carly to step off, bitch.  In other areas of viewing pleasure, Julie Pinson's former PORT CHARLES squeeze, Jon Lindstrom (pictured) is a wonderfully snarky, sexy Craig.  No one can replace Scott Bryce but Jon is a more than adequate substitute.  Dare I hope the same for the upcoming triple threat of recasts of Maddie, Jade and Lucy?

SOME NICE THINGS SAID ABOUT THIS MORNING'S RANDOM 90210 RERUN

Wow, Hilary Swank can really act the hell out of any material, can't she?  I also enjoyed Brian Austin Green befriending and protecting the Gay Guy at work in his new car wash job. Which reads like bad fan fic when I read that sentence back to me.

PABLUM FOR BREAKFAST

The 90210 channel -- oh sorry, SOAPNET -- is my viewing of choice when I am eating breakfast before work and am not entirely awake.  Honestly, was BEVERLY HILLS 90210 ever really good, ever?!? Growing up roughly at the same time as the characters, I remember only watching it to make fun of it or to enjoy the hotness of the always underrated Brian Austin Green.  What is the nostalgic appeal of this show besides as something not too taxing on the brain to have on while eating Just Bunches?  Or is that its' entire appeal, as moving wallpaper?