Save ALL MY CHILDREN!

From http://soapoperadigest.com/news/breaking/

Contact Info for AMC Execs

All My Children
Prospect Studios
4151 Prospect Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90027

ABC comment line: 818- 460-7477 (Listen to the prompts and then press 255 for AMC) Messages are 30 seconds in length.


Brian Frons
President, ABC Daytime
2300 Riverside Drive
Burbank, CA 91506

E-Mail: Brian.frons@abc.com

Brian Fron's direct office line: 818-460-7020

AMC Publicist Michael A. Cohen 818-460-7128.

Julie Hanan Carruthers, Executive Producer
E-Mail: julie.carruthers@abc.com

Anne Sweeney
President, ABC Television
ABC Studios
500 South Buena Vista Street
Burbank CA 91521

Anne Sweeney direct office line: 818 460-7700

E-Mail: Anne.x.Sweeney@email.Disney.com

I honestly do not have any more info than you can read at the above link, but do take the time to let the Powers That Be know that you want ALL MY CHILDREN to continue to be on the air. Remember to be polite and positive, not trollish and demanding!

R.I.P. TURA SANTANA

Just a quick off-topic post to commemorate Tura Santana, who died on February 4th. Star of FASTER PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL!, she was a true action icon for the ages, funny, smart and, yes, able to fuck your shit up. I recently watched SALT, which I thought was horrible -- what was especially crap was Angelina Jolie's heroine, who is acting in such an opaque manner throughout that everything she does is meaningless and devoid of feeling, even when she's killing the men who murdered her husband. Can you imagine SALT as a lean exploitation film circa 1966 with Tura? She would have brought some heat, humor and no-stunt-person-needed skillz to that shit! Man, today's cinema needs Tura Santana. She will be missed.

Obligatory soap related comment: watching the first season of THE WIRE and am amused to see future ALL MY CHILDREN actor Michael B Jordan as one of the teenage drug dealers. I can't remember Reggie's backstory but it would have been funny if he had been busted for crack before adopted by Jackson!

TEEN ACTORS, NAUSEA AND ALAN DALE

I watched some of yesterday's DAYS OF OUR LIVES with breakfast today, just enough to see that I do not like the new Will at all. The old Will was a bit of tasty jailbait, but he was also naturalistic and fit in well with the other actors, unlike the current Will, who is a big slice of drama school ham.

I also watched a little bit of ALL MY CHILDREN while unwinding after work. I haven't been following the show that much recently, but it looks like Ryan and Erica are together. According to the Ghetto Fabulous Retired Mom, "This storyline makes me SICK! Every time I see Ryan and Erica together I want to VOMIT!" Therefore I will vehemently oppose this pairing since it is causing my mother internal distress.

While not a soap, tonight's superb episode of LOST did have a cliffhanging appearance by ex-soaper Alan Dale, up to no good as usual. Or is he? If he's out to kill Ben, isn't that a good thing? Or has Ben earned our sympathy now thanks to tonight's episode? Man, I love me some thought-provoking LOST!

LEMON COUPLE?

In the current issue of SOAP OPERA DIGEST Carolyn Hinsey refers to the "lemon couples" of ALL MY CHILDREN: Brot/Natalia, JR/Marissa, Erica /Ryan and...Adam/Annie. REALLY? I dig Adam and Annie a lot -- a crazy old bastard paired with a young psycho, both played by great actors, makes for riveting viewing. If this pairing is a lemon, then it must be lemonade! (I can't believe I just wrote that.)

While I'm on the subject of SOD columnists, I read with interest Mala Bhattacharjee's blog where she expressed dismay at a South Asian actor appearing on THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL ...as a cab driver. Being half South Asian myself, I agree that there are much better roles for South Asian actors in soaps and TV, in general. For example, many South Asians work in the medical profession and that needs more representation now that ER is over. Also, 97% of South Asian women are beautiful and would seem a natural choice for soaps. I mostly appreciate color blind casting, where a person's ethnicity has nothing to do with the role, like Rekha Sharma in BATTLESTAR GALACTICA and V. More along those lines, please!

DAYS OF OUR LIVES continued to astonish. The confrontation in jail between Mia and Nicole was great because Mia said EVERYTHING you wanted to say to Nicole, and did NOT let up. "You're a MONSTER!" she wailed. I know the actress who plays Mia is like, 3 or something, but she rocked!

I also watched ONE LIFE TO LIVE, which showed off the chemistry between McBain and Natalie to good effect, and GENERAL HOSPITAL, where James Franco made his first appearance to the tune of MAD WORLD while wearing a hoodie. Very DONNIE DARKO.

GOODBYE TO PHIL?

It looks like Thom Bierdz is on his way out of THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS, if today's episode was any indication. I think that would be a real shame, as a romance between Philip and Rafe seems a no-brainer to me.

I am enjoying seeing Sarah Brown on THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL. Am I the only one who remembers how good she was on AS THE WORLD TURNS as Julia, an ordinary woman who nonetheless managed to bed both Jack and Holden and had the whole town gunning for her as a result? While on the subject of Julia, are ATWT viewers ever going to see Julia's son JJ again or is he stuck in the limbo of soap boarding school?

ALL MY CHILDREN continues to annoy and delight in equal doses. I like the Annie/Adam dynamic very much -- the rest, meh, especially Erica/Ryan, who I don't think anyone wants to see together! The Retired Mom called me up all frantic with worry that AMC's upcoming move to Los Angeles meant all her favorites leaving the cast. I hastened to reassure her that she's only losing Thorsten Kaye, but she wasn't having any of it. "What about Kendall?" "She's staying." "But she had a baby!" "She's on maternity leave." "Well, what about Tad? And Cameron?"and so on. I'm actually only checking out AMC lately since I read in SOAP OPERA DIGEST that Nancy Opel has joined the cast as the Chandler cook. This year I saw Nancy in her triple role onstage in THE TOXIC AVENGER and I can not wait to see her inject some levity into this show!

DAYS OF OUR LIVES was amazing. I was utterly gripped by the whole Nicole baby mess and entertained by the lighter storyline involving Carly and Vivian.

I also watched ONE LIFE TO LIVE -- Brian Kerwin was excellent today, but I didn't like how Natalie was going on about Jared keeping mints on his person at all times and how she loved it because that was BULLSHIT. When the frak did Natalie and Jared ever have these conversations? The writers shouldn't make up personal details for characters that weren't established onscreen beforehand.

GENERAL HOSPITAL was intriguing, but I had to cut my viewing short to go to work on my day off for a health benefits meeting. Hooray for job benefits, but universal health care for all can not come soon enough.

WHO WILL DIE ON ALL MY CHILDREN?

I reckon it will be Ryan, because Cameron Mathison has received more exposure from DANCING WITH THE STARS and has seen his hosting duties increase elsewhere.  Plus, everyone seems to hate Ryan being paired with Kendall, so it seems logical for AMC to cut their losses with this character.

I was stuck in ONE LIFE TO LIVE prom land today, what with this afternoon's episode and the musical episode from 2 years ago that Soap Net reran Sunday.  (Though, typically, it was a special 2 part event and Soap Net only ran one part.)  The Pussycat Dolls' English language rendition of "Jai Ho" was horrid, but at least it was limited to the prom so we didn't have to witness Dorian and Vicki pretending to get down to those cheesy skanks.

DAYS OF OUR LIVES entertained me with the scenes between Nicole and Sami.  Their current predicament is so bizarre.  Nicole has Sami's baby but Sami doesn't know it.  Sami has what she thinks is her baby but is actually Mia's but she is passing it off as someone else's.  Nicole knows Sami is lying about her (Sami's) baby but she won't say anything because she (Nicole) wants to hold onto her (Sami's) baby.  So both women are playing a dangerous game which can play out for years if we are unlucky.

Writing that down exhausted me.  I must mention how fabulous GENERAL HOSPITAL looks in High Definition, and how awful GUIDING LIGHT looks in lower-than-low definition.  Did you notice that GL did not obstruct the Abercrombie & Fitch logo on James' jacket?  Could this be because GL forces the actors to wear those own clothes to shooting and the performers don't want their clothes destroyed by gaffing tape?

R.I.P. EILEEN HERLIE

Just watched the 12/20/2008 episode of ALL MY CHILDREN that was a special tribute to Eileen Herlie, who played Myrtle.  Wonderfully touching and sad.  I defy anyone to watch the clips of Myrtle accepting Bianca after she came out without welling up with tears.

Also rearing up from the depths of my DVR was the final episode of DAYS OF OUR LIVES to feature Deidre Hall and Drake Hogestyn as Marlena and John.  It was well acted, but a bit rushed.  Did they have to make John Black almost completely immobile in order to get rid of him?  Such an odd end to a legendary character.

To concentrate on today's soap episodes, I am really absorbed by GENERAL HOSPITAL's tale of post-partum depression.  Every wrong move Robin makes startles me, and Patrick's reactions feel authentic.  It's a pity such an honest story stands the risk of being drowned in more mob intrigue and the shenanigans of the unlikable and uncharismatic Ethan.  On another plus side, the scenes between Nicolas, Rebecca, Lucky and Elizabeth were meaty, allowing us to play with the possibility of a Lucky/Rebecca coupling.  Hmmmmm...it could work.

I'm very happy to hear that Don Diamont is joining the cast of THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL to hopefully cut through this near-incestuous knot the show has webbed itself into.  (Quick!  Someone stop that metaphor!)  Of course Thomas tried to kill Rick!  As Thomas himself pointed out, Rick killed his (Thomas') sister and slept with his other sister and mother!!  This show needs a new character who is NOT related to anyone on the canvas!

I also watched episode 5 of DARK SHADOWS.  The mystery of Victoria Winter's parentage is brought up, but a greater mystery is why wasn't this ever resolved?  It's the frakkin' premise of the ENTIRE SHOW!!  Surely the writers in later years could have come up with a way to tie the reveal of Victoria's true family history into the supernatural?  In later years of DS, sometimes the show is just one event after another, with no indication of how the characters are affected emotionally.  Characters cease to have personal goals as they traipse through timelines until all sense of the personalities of the present day characters is lost.  I bet if DS had stayed in contemporary Collinwood, it would still be on the air today.  Character always wins out over plot in the world of daytime drama.

WHY CAN'T RON CARLIVATI BE HEAD WRITER FOR AS THE WORLD TURNS?

As I watched yesterday and today's episodes of ONE LIFE TO LIVE, I was struck by how much more involving Llanview is than Oakdale.  Plots intersect, scenes end on hooks that keep you watching through the commercials, and characters interact in believable ways even when the stories are a trifle far-fetched.  Meanwhile, ATWT episodes from the beginning of February languish in my DVR.  Que lastima.

GENERAL HOSPITAL has been hit-and-miss lately, but today's episode was mostly hit.  I enjoyed Alexis covering for a hiding Winifred by claiming Winifred's muffled intake of breath was a fart.  I like the interplay between Olivia and Sonny, and the quietly shocking story of Robin running away to flirt with bartenders who have opera tickets.  (Unlike Robin, I would have gone to the opera, but hey, I'm easy that way.)

I watched a little bit of DAYS OF OUR LIVES and was pleased to see more Mya.  She underplays everything and I think she'll be a good match with Will.  Plus, I am a sentimental sucker for performers that were only supposed to be short-term but wind up with contracts.  More Mya and less Molly Burnett please!  I especially hated how Melanie played the "I'm only 18!" card today.  You can't expect to be taken seriously as a business woman only to blame your missteps on youthful folly!  (That is the most ridiculously Victorian phrase I have ever used in my writing, ever.)  Mya revealing all to Tony DiMera is potentially a good twist, but ruined for me by the knowledge that Tony will not be in the show for much longer.

Watched the scene on You Tube where GUIDING LIGHT's Grady gets pushed off a cliff.  Well, at least a dummy of Kane Manera did, anyway.  Hooray!  I can't believe we're supposed to feel sorry for Daisy!  To paraphrase Joy Behar, "Who cares?  So what?"

To return to OLTL, wasn't it fun to see Dan Gauthier show up on LOST as Jeff Fahey's co-pilot?  I always melodramatically overreact to surprise appearances of ex-soap stars in my favorite shows.  When his name appeared in the credits, I murmured under my breath "Oh my God..." but did not tell The Boyfriend why until the first commercial.  I am sure it is my air of mystery that keeps him enthralled.

Speaking of The Boyfriend, he gave me the ATWT tie-in novel THE MAN FROM OAKDALE as a birthday gift Monday.  It is hugely enjoyable so far, with a fanwanky plot that takes in appearances from Sierra, Frannie and Sabrina, and Will and Gwen!  Henry and Vienna are characterized very well, with their written escapades being preferable to all the baby nonsense they are going through on the television show.  I wish there was a book such as this for ALL MY CHILDREN's Reese and Bianca, an engaging couple given short shrift on TV who might be a great pair to write a novel about.  I would love to read about their courtship and shacking up together, rather than see Reese fall through glass and get blinded by her heterosexual crush.

VIVA ALLEY MILLS!

How great was Alley Mills on THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL today?  It's tricky to get all dramatic when you're playing a comedic character but Alley pulled it off.  I felt so sorry for Pam!  Plus, Stephanie becomes 100% more likable when defending her sister.

THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS was also very good.  I enjoyed seeing Ely Pouget as Kay's doctor.  She was one of the stars of the short-lived '90s revival of DARK SHADOWS and also appeared in LA TAKEDOWN, Michael Mann's TV movie trial run for HEAT.  Hooray for surviving the '90s!

ALL MY CHILDREN was not so hot.  Despite interesting new characters like Taylor and Brot, Chuck Pratt's take on Pine Valley has amounted to a big heap of nothing.  I don't care about Zach and Kendall nor do I find it believable that Krystal would be so taken in by David.  Don't get me started on the travesty of Bianca and Reese and how daytime's first lesbian marriage was completely undone by having Reese kiss Zach the day before the wedding! 

ONE LIFE TO LIVE continues to thrive.  The way the plots intersect is ingenious and it's nice to see a show that makes room for fun supporting characters like Moe and Noelle while strengthening new characters like Ray and Stacy.  I am starting to see some serious chemistry between Dorian and Ray that I hope they run with!

DAYS OF OUR LIVES continues to be a bit meh.  Now that Sami is back in town and I've got a chance to see her interact with the 3 men in her life, I'm going to say Lucas is the man for her.  Alison Sweeney and Bryan Datillo are doing a very good job of interacting with the SORASed Will, who is certainly better looking than the old Will but hasn't quite convinced me yet that he is Sami and Lucas' offspring.

Speaking of unconvincing offspring, I have the ghastly feeling that Ethan on GENERAL HOSPITAL will be revealed as the son of Holly and/or Robert Scorpio in a blatant attempt to curry audience affection.  I'm not liking this "lovable scoundrel" one bit; he's not attractive or charming despite everyone on screen telling us he is!  He looks like a bad carbon copy of Tom Pelphrey.  In fact, could Ethan have been the role on GH that Tom Pelphrey was rumored to be up for, as hinted in SOAP OPERA DIGEST?  It would explain Ethan's look and bad boy behavior, which would seem tailor made for Tom -- who could actually have pulled this character off.

LOVED Olivia and Natalia on GUIDING LIGHT today!  Their scenes are so full of believable awkwardness and tension.  Curious to see how much Doris' newly exposed lesbianism will impact the rest of the show -- how about some emotional scenes with her daughter Ashlee, played by the fabulous but underused Caitlin Van Zandt?

Inspired by a new book by Jeff Thompson , THE TELEVISION HORRORS OF DAN CURTIS, I watched an episode of DARK SHADOWS for the first time in many, many months.  It was the second episode of the series and the biggest giggles came from Joan Bennett traipsing around her mansion at all hours of the night, in full evening gown and pearls.  She didn't so much project class as daftness, especially with the implication that she cooks everyone's meals and does the household chores in the same outfit!

LESBIANS AND LOST

The powers that be have really got to stop pushing Reese and Zach together on ALL MY CHILDREN.  How many times does Reese or Zach have to get upset and hug or kiss each other just as Bianca walks in?  I am sick of it!

DAYS OF OUR LIVES is an odd show to watch right now.  With Drake Hogestyn and Deidre Hall's days (ho, ho) numbered, the show makes for uneasy viewing.  John and Marlena are what DOOL is about!  There is some comfort to be had from the show's other veteran supercouples.  Bo and Hope had some good scenes today just chatting about how hard it is to make time to be with each other.  Good, non-melodramatic character stuff.

I was amused by the faux-lesbian kiss on GUIDING LIGHT.  I found Natalia's scene with Emma's teacher, explaining that she and Olivia are not a couple but that doesn't make them any less of a family, to be surprisingly moving.  In fact, I think this is the first time EVER that I've found Jessica Leccia warm and appealing!  Unfortunately, it seems to me that GL is trying to have its cake and eat it, too.  They can have Jessica and Crystal Chappell's chemistry as a couple without having to take the step of making them a sexual couple and enraging homophobes.  Look here Ellen Wheeler -- take the Lesbian Leap.  Your show's only getting 1.4 million viewers!  How could making Olivia and Natalia actual lesbians actually hurt the show?

On the other side of my remote that hour was GENERAL HOSPITAL.  So, how dead is Leyla now that she's found happiness with an off-screen fiance?  I see on the SOAP OPERA DIGEST website that Nadine is off as well, even though she claims she won't be engulfed in the balls of flame set to destroy the nurses' station.  I'll be watching, mental fire extinguisher at my side.

My non-soap viewing tonight was the season premiere of LOST, featuring the ubiquitous ex-NEIGHBOURS actor Alan Dale.  I've mentioned him before on this blog, so suffice to say how good he is at playing evil businessmen with a minimum of screen time that cast a shadow over their entire show.  Alan is such a reliable corporate baddie, I fully expect to see him pop up in every show I watch, one time or the other.  Has he met with the producers of MAD MEN or 30 ROCK yet?

CHAMPAGNE TASTE

Watched some of DAYS OF OUR LIVES with breakfast and I am loving Chelsea.  My adoration of Chelsea stands in direct proportion to my hatred of Melanie, a character who possesses no redeeming values whatsoever -- and I don't mean that in a GOSSIP GIRL so-bad-they're-good way, I mean that in a Good-Lord-They're-Keeping-Her-And-Firing-John-And-Marlena??!! way.

Saw the end of ALL MY CHILDREN and found the kiss between Zach and Reese to be puzzlingly staged.  It is meant to be friendly and platonic, but the way Zach kisses Reese is definitely romantic.  Between this and Luke's jealousy of Noah and Maddie on AS THE WORLD TURNS, I am weary of gay love thwarted by semi-heterosexual overtones between friends.

I almost got sucked into today's episode of ONE LIFE TO LIVE, because Marty's plan of revenge against Todd is an irresistible story.  However, the notion of actually having to watch a band named Puddle Of Mudd that da kidz are down wiv filled me with fear and dread, so I switched off.  Am I the only one who remembers Information Society appearing on OLTL in the eighties ?  Erika Slezak was the consummate pro, smiling and applauding this long forgotten band even though I could tell she knew their fame wasn't even gonna last until the next commercial break.

The household's main viewing tonight was the sparkling Blu-Ray disc of the campy yet strangely entertaining 1966 BATMAN movie.  I didn't think this title had any soap connections but I was proven wrong as Lee Meriwether plays Catwoman...decades before she joined the cast of ALL MY CHILDREN as Ruth Martin!  It is going to be surreal when Ruth next makes an appearance in Pine Valley!  (P.S. RIP Eartha Kitt, who  essayed the role of Catwoman in the BATMAN TV series.  I'm trying to work a THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, JULIE NEWMAR joke in here but it's late and I feel a cold coming on.)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I felt a little like saying "Bah humbug!" hearing Jana blather on about V8 on THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS and I still just can't find myself caring about Devon, Ana, or Ana's mom.  Yet the good gradually pushed out the bad on Y&R, with the Victor flashbacks and Kay regaining her memory being particularly jolting.

THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL was also very good, with Bradley Bell's holiday wishes at the end of the show seeming rightfully earned.  This is a producer who knows when his show is working and when it isn't.  Right now it is working very well.  The sentimentality of the holidays must be getting to me because I didn't even mind Granpa Jack Wagner proposing to his child bride!  Oh wait...

I saw a bit of today's ALL MY CHILDREN rerun.  Not really feeling the tornado drama, unfortunately, since another tornado episode is being rerun Christmas Day.  Still, nice that they brought back Bianca, and I really don't mind that they retconned the story so Zach is the father of her baby.

I saw some of DOOL, OLTL's rerun and the last half of GH's Christmas episode, but you know what?  It's Christmas and I've got some words of cheer.  Last year I was completely unemployed and at a real low.  This year my life has turned around.  I have a great job, a great boyfriend (who has a great new job) and an adorable cat.  I have fabulous friends all over the world!  I have a Ghetto Fabulous Mom who I have to thank for introducing me to soaps at a young age.  The nation as a whole is in state of optimism, and I like riding that wave for once.  I am so happy right now with my life, and I am glad that I've always had soaps for fun and escapism, through good times and bad.

So please,  have a Happy Holiday or at least go out and see a good movie.  And if you can't do that, check out the vintage Y&R episode on CBS and the GH Christmas episode mini-marathon on SoapNet!  I hope everyone's day is joyous and soapy.

DISAPPOINTMENTS AND GLORIES

We are still incredibly behind in our AS THE WORLD TURNS viewing, with tonight's episode being from October 29!! It was a strong episode, but I was disappointed to see Alison become a victim of Evil Rapey Frat Boys. When they cornered her with evidence of her porn star past and demanded she strip, Alley Cat should have shown her claws, spit in their faces and FUCKED THEIR SHIT UP!!! Sorry, seeing strong women humiliated is not my idea of entertainment. Seeing strong women kick ass is! This storyline can still be redeemed if Alison gets some kind of revenge or justice.

One storyline that I fear can not be redeemed is the character assassination of Nick on DAYS OF OUR LIVES. Now he's a stalker? And if you read the spoilers in this week's SOAP OPERA DIGEST, a killer?? Usually when a dull character has run out of story, they turn psycho (recent examples being AMC's Annie and ATWT's Sofie.) However, Nick has loads of story potential including the possibility of a reunion with Chelsea. Why waste Blake Berris this way?

One actress not being wasted is Tamara Braun. (As seen up and to the left!) From out of the depths of my DVR came last Friday's AMC, in which Reese proposed to Bianca! It was wonderful and romantic, but somewhat bittersweet in the light of Prop 8 banning gay marriage being passed in California this week. It also sucks that GREY'S ANATOMY's Brooke Smith, who plays a lesbian, has been fired from that show. So bravo to AMC for showing two fabulous actresses playing two women who are in a committed relationship and love each other. Extra kudos for advertising Tamara Braun's return and the proposal so heavily and forthrightly -- no shame over lesbian content here, unlike in the production offices of GREY'S ANATOMY.

Another actress not being wasted is Jeanne Cooper, giving a real good show as Kay and Marge on THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS. I like the Paris remote, too, especially in HD. The only thing I take issue with is Noah describing Paris as "sick", meaning really, really cool. No teenager talks like that. The only other time I've heard "sick" as a positive term was in ONE LIFE TO LIVE, uttered by Marco. I think some soap writers' kids are taking the piss. How's that for authentic slang, soap writers?

BIANCA!

Today was the first full episode of ALL MY CHILDREN I've seen since Bink's return and I am just over the moon. I don't know how Eden Riegel does it, but she makes Bianca instantly likable, so likable that I could not switch over to THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL when 12:30 rolled around. It looks like things will get even better, with Tamara Braun joining the cast as Bianca's partner and the surprise return of David Hayward today! Thank you Head Writer Chuck Pratt!!!

I saw the first bit of ONE LIFE TO LIVE today and while it is overall very compelling, the sequences of Tina setting dynamite and then putting it out with a pillow because she realized she would blow herself up (!) plus Gigi disguised as a nurse in plain sight of Adriana reeked of PASSIONS. Please, Ron Carlivati, just because James E Reilly is dead, it doesn't mean that you have to fill his void. I think, generally, viewers prefer romance and drama to camp and silliness.

FROM THE BOARDROOM TO THE BORED ROOM

I really enjoyed the scenes on THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS today where Nikki and Phyllis bitched at each other, and the subsequent scenes of Nikki snarking at Adam. I am afraid that I will be tuning out tomorrow, though, since who cares if Ana isn't going to school?

Crazy Pam was given full reign on THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL. I love Alley Mills! She manages to go over the top without losing the core of her character. I am concerned that by pushing her so far over the edge Pam will become unredeemable and will disappear from our screens. Let's hope she's another one of those soap characters who is bad because of a brain tumour that can be easily cured!

I'm a bit bored with ALL MY CHILDREN. I am looking forward to the tornado that will bring back Bianca and David and will lead to Tamara Braun joining the show. I'm just tired of Kendall, Ryan, Greenlee, Annie and Zach (though I have fond feelings for Thorsten Kaye from his PORT CHARLES days.) I actively dislike Petey and Colby. Their performances are waaay too undergrad stagy -- both need to tone it down! However, when I see Taylor and Jake my interest perks up, and the show is also getting good mileage out of Carmen and Amanda. Randi is creepy, though. The Boyfriend pointed out that she seems to be wearing colored contacts, which have the unfortunate effect of making the actress unexpressive and possesive of cold, dead eyes. If they were smart, the writers would work in a reference as to how Randi's days as a whore have killed her soul!

ONE LIFE TO LIVE was fortunately spellbinding. Love, love, love Ilene Kristen letting it all hang out emotionally and otherwise -- look at that mascara run for its life! What a jolt after seeing Ilene 30 years ago as Delia in RYAN'S HOPE! Plus, the return of Adriana was dramatically pleasing. It offers her a chance at redemption and Melissa Fumero has really nailed the part.

GENERAL HOSPITAL was sorta good, sorta bad. All the stuff with Big Pussy was contrived and unfunny, even though GH's roster of character actors (Diane, Max, new arrival Vincent Pastore) were on top form. Really liked the scene where Epiphany put Robin and Patrick in their places, though. How unprofessional of them to take their relationship shit out on their staff!

GUIDING LIGHT was torture today. WAAAAAAAAAY too much Grady/Kane Manera for my liking. He is just too limited a performer (and the character of Grady just too repugnant) to carry so much story. Two scenes that stand out for suckiness today were the scenes where Grady tells Dinah he was hitting on her mom and where he brings Lizzie flowers. His facial expressions were woeful; incapable of conveying anything. He also has a real lack of comic timing. I also hated all the scenes of Mallett giving Marina the house. I like domestic soaps as much as anyone, but that storyline was too banal. What next -- Grady and Daisy go to the supermarket together to pick up snacks for the Peapack Craft Services table?

PIMPS, NERDS AND PSYCHOS

ALL MY CHILDREN and THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL competed for my attention when I woke up, and B&B won because you just can not stop watching when Crazy Pam is on the loose. I am happy to see her terrorize and then have her behavior blamed on her medication ad infinitum, as long as we get to keep Alley Mills around!

AMC was not that interesting from what I saw. Kris Eivers' overacting as Randi's pimp irritated me, so I'm glad to read in SOAP OPERA DIGEST that Taylor is going to kill him! I am also irritated by NuPetey Cortland, a ripoff of Spinelli from GENERAL HOSPITAL (mannerisms, storyline) and Nick from DAYS OF OUR LIVES (he is actually very pretty for a nerd!) The Unemployed Boyfriend seemed somewhat taken with Petey, which I will interpret as a compliment to my geeky self.

AS THE WORLD TURNS continues to annoy with any storyline involving Parker and Liberty. I think it is time to ship them off to boarding school so the wonderful pairing of Jack and Janet can really have room to breathe. And I'm saying this even though I LIKE Mick Hazen and Meredith Hagner! It's just their plots that drain the life from the adult characters on the show. The return of James Stenbeck is shaping up to be great fun, though. Has he REALLY come back just to eat Paul's sandwiches and drink his wine?? The shot of him sneaking in to get the rest of his meal while Paul comforted Meg was very, very funny. More of that and less of Brad flying off the handle, please.

This is the first time I've been able to catch GH since Genie Francis returned and while it's great to see Laura again...is her entire story going to have her stuck in a room listening to Lulu whine? On a more positive note, how appropiate that Spinelli will daydream of Leyla kicking ass ala Emma Peel. If there's anything Spinelli and I have in common, it is the Diana Rigg AVENGERS megaset being in our DVD collections!

DOOL featured Blake Berris looking really, really cute in his white jacket. He is also looking very adorable wearing nothing but red Barack Obama underpants(!) in this week's SOD. I like Blake/Nick so much I am not even going to complain that DOOL is ripping off GOSSIP GIRL with Melanie and her potential romance with him, which is a bit reminiscent of GG's Serena and Dan. XOXO

THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS is REALLY good nowadays. It is so good that it is even gripping in the crappy Standard Def broadcasts of SoapNet, so strong is the writing and characterization. I like the pairing of Cane and Chloe a lot. I sense a growing attraction between them that could lead to a more complex pairing than Cane and Lily ever were. Don't Cane and Chloe have more in common than they realize? Both are working their way up from crappy working class backgrounds to the good life, any way they can get it. Let's remember that Cane was as shady as Chloe when first introduced. And whoever thought up the upcoming revelation that Chloe is Esther's daughter is a GENIUS!! I'm going to give Hogan Sheffer credit for that one until proven otherwise.

SCREW YOU CBS 2!

I would love to blog about Tuesday's episode of AS THE WORLD TURNS but just when Lucinda and Brian sat down to eat, my local CBS affiliate decided to interrupt the show in order to show me footage of a fire happening nowhere near me! And they reran GUIDING LIGHT that night but no ATWT! And I can't watch that episode online because my computer is a piece of shit! And Van Hansis was looking obscenely hot in the whole 3 minutes I got of him! AAAAAARGHHH!

As for today's episode, I was amused by the last minute return of James Stenbeck on Paul's computer. Will he step through the screen to assume corporeal form?!? I am finding Parker and his ridiculously girly hair very, very annoying, which is a shame because I used to groove on his authentic sullenness. At least this episode had Juicy Janet being so super cool and sexy that Jack had to hang up on Carly in order to get his freak on. Take that Carly!

THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS was awfully good, from what I saw of it. (My itchy channel surfing finger kept switching over to ALL MY CHILDREN during the commercials.) The only thing I like more than Chloe marrying Cane is Sharon's blase, I've-got-better-things-to-think-about reaction! And the only thing I LOVED more than that is Phyllis telling Sharon to stop worrying about her ex-husband who is now Phyllis' husband, thank you very much. Y&R is really juicing up normally boring couples lately. Cane and Lily, Nick and Phyllis: all they needed was some good writing and interaction with other characters to make then watchable again. And hooray for SORASing Noah. That kid actor who played him as a child always irritated me -- he was so artificial and stagy, like the brat who is in the lead role of the school play that you are forced to sit through in order to see your own kid as a talking tree or something.

AMC also appears to be on an upswing. I like Jake, Amanda and Taylor. I like the interplay between Jesse and Angie. I don't know why Randi is still on the show but I am trusting Chuck Pratt to make her interesting or to get rid of her. And I am looking forward to Vincent Irizarry's return as David Hayward, because every soap needs a good villain.

I am not sure who the villain is on THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL. I think it was Pam who poisoned Eric, but I hope that doesn't mean we'll see the last of her. I would like Owen to be more of a rotter; I don't buy him taking the rap for Donna. I would rather see Brandon Beemer work his way through the women of the show than the aging lothario that is Jack Wagner.

VAGUELY SOAPY EMPLOYMENT!

I am thrilled to announce that tomorrow I begin full time employment with full benefits at a local art museum! Appropiately, it is the same museum that Victor and Sabrina went to in THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS in March, IIRC -- think "street lamp installation" if you have a hard time remembering!

Speaking of Y&R, I caught the last half of the show this morning and had "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" stuck in my head all day even though I hate Devon and am confused by his InstaFamily. Does it make any dramatic difference that Ana is Yolanda's daughter and not Tyra's? What concerns me more is the question of whether Jana still works at Sabrina's art museum. Am I now Jana?!?

I was pleased to Beth Ehlers in uniform on ALL MY CHILDREN today and happy at the potential of scenes between her, Jesse and Angie. As Beth is ushered in, I hope AMC continues to cut the dead weight that make me switch channels to THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL. Very glad to read in SOAP OPERA DIGEST that Cassandra and Samuel are gone, baby, gone!

I would love to write all night about today's viewing but I watched loads o'soap today and have got to get to bed soon! So here's a quick rundown:

I like Marcus and Steffy on B&B a lot, so you see? New characters or recasts can be good! Just usually not on AMC! ONE LIFE TO LIVE amuses me with their DONNIE DARKO-esque time travel storyline, while any scene between Ilene Kristen and Brian Kerwin is just pure gold. DAYS OF OUR LIVES had Stefano terrorizing everybody, and it made for some good viewing. Scream Anna DiMera scream! GENERAL HOSPITAL had some good Maxie/Spinelli scenes, but too much Zaccharing and Lulu whining led me back to Springfield, which had some really good Reva/Alan/Lizzie material. Caught up with the last two episodes of GOSSIP GIRL reruns, which were the best I've seen yet -- Jake Silbermann had a nice walk-on and Eric was memorably outed by uber-bitch Georgina. Also caught up with Tuesday's and Wednesday's AS THE WORLD TURNS. Tuesday's was a small masterpiece. I think other shows should look at that episode to see domestic soap at its best. Wednesday's was unintentionally hilarious becasue The Unemployed Boyfriend and I feel so sorry for Neal because Carly keeps giving him the runaround, but we think the actor is AWFUL. This leads to us screeching 'CAAAAAARRLLLLYYYY' at each other for about an hour. Sorry, Michael E. Rodgers, we know you're trying your best as Neal!

You know you love me.
xoxo

CARLY MUST DIE

As much as I enjoyed my mini-marathon of the latest two episodes of AS THE WORLD TURNS today, I have to admit that Carly needs to be bitch-slapped into oblivion. The writers are doing a good job of keeping Luke involved in the action; I would really like to see a scene where he tears Carly apart for ruining his parents' marriage. Even if he only tears her apart verbally! Van Hansis does bitchy anger very well -- let's see some of that directed against the contemptible Carly!

I woke up this morning to find out that THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS has apparently gotten good again while I wasn't looking. I detect the firm hand of Hogan Sheffer in this. Chloe is being revved up to engage in the kind of gleeful bad girl behavior that is a Hogan Sheffer trademark. Sheffer really saw the potential of Chelsea in DAYS OF OUR LIVES during his tenure there and I still remember how he thrust Katie into ATWT's spotlight way back in 2000. Every soap needs a good bad girl!

If Y&R is improving, THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL is starting to take a nose dive. Today's episode was dreary. Eric's in a coma and his family have to decide whether to pull the plug. Katie is somehow pregnant with Nick's kid even though we never saw them do it. Where's the fun? Where are the campy women and the hot guys? B&B has always been the most glam of the soaps. They should play to that strength instead of trying to get some Serious Drama going. Leave that to domestic soaps like ATWT and DOOL, which excel at family dynamics. The Forrester, Logan and Marone families' dynamics are so twistedly near incestual, any attempt to base a story in B&B around family integrity is ludicrous.

Speaking of ludicrous, I am glad to see that ONE LIFE TO LIVE has gotten Andrea Evans out of Mendorra. Seeing her involved in fake country shenanigans, I started to see Andrea slip into PASSIONS mode, which involves a lot of fake, crummy acting. PASSIONS ended today, BTW. RIP PASSIONS. I liked that show enough at one point to name The Adorable Cat after its most inspired character, Timmy!

DOOL was also inspired today. I LOVED the vintage clips of Bo and Hope getting married!!! I think Kristian Alfonso has improved with age, like a fine wine. Peter Reckell always looks the same to me; only the length and landscape of his hair changes. And even though Belle and Shawn are not currently a part of the show, kudos to DOOL's writers for having a letter from them read during the wedding ceremony.

I saw some of ALL MY CHILDREN as well, but it was soooo bad I have trouble remembering it. I vaguely remember Randi and Frankie annoying me, and Annie annoying me. The show has hit an absolute nadir of late, as if to show us how rubbish it can be before Chuck Pratt (hopefully) works New Head Writer Magic on it. I don't wish unemployment on anyone (it really, really sucks) but I don't see how AMC can be fixed unless MAJOR axing occurs. Randi, Petey, Frankie, Dre, Annie, NuColby, Samuel, Babe -- these characters have all reached dead ends. Maybe Janet From Another Planet can go on a killing spree and do Pine Valley a favor? Then with the cast payroll that's been freed up, they can bring Cady McClain back as Dixie!

"That's soooooo our song now."

I tell ya, if AS THE WORLD TURNS had ended the final Nuke scene today with a reprise of "True Colors" there wouldn't have been a dry eye in the house. Instead, there was a huge sigh of relief that Noah did not join the army. The last three episodes of ATWT have been spectacular for Nuke fans. Thursday's Cyndi Lauper-fest was fantastic. Kudos to Van Hansis for his acting all around but especially for his emoting while Cyndi sang. I'm going to chalk that up to Van's theatre experience, where he has to be seen in character even when he has no dialogue because he's on stage. Plus we got two (!) Nuke kisses! Friday's scenes of Holden and Luke just talking were unexpected and welcome. I have also enjoyed Jack getting his freak on with Janet, who is so much more fun than Carly. And I am surprised how much I've been rooting for Paul and Meg -- I really want them to be happy! ATWT isn't perfect -- Carly/Holden continued to be a dud and what was up with that poorly realized Hugh Grant wannabe today? -- but there is so much going on that is good I easily overlook the bad. Plus, this show knows how to use the long-term cast members. Barbara, Lisa, the Hughes and the Stewarts have all been getting juicy scenes. Now if Jean Passanante and Chris Goutman can give Elizabeth Hubbard something to do I'd be over the moon!

I wish I could be as positive about ATWT's lead-in, THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL. Katie and Bridget both being in love with Nick fails to convince. Even worse, I read in this week's SOAP OPERA DIGEST that B&B is being "revamped...in the name of appealing to a younger audience..." which I guess accounts for the plethora of establishing location shots today. Hey, Bell family -- you want to appeal to a younger audience? Stop the Nick/Bridget/Katie story NOW and concentrate on the fun characters -- Stephanie, Pam, Felicia! How about pairing all three of these mature ladies with Owen, who looks like he'd be all too happy to fleece a bunch of rich Forrester women? If you're going to introduce new, younger characters, pair them with veterans to keep the show recognizable, instead of pushing all your newbies to the forefront of the show.

Which is what I fear ALL MY CHILDREN is doing. I'm still seeing drunk NuColby, Dre and Cassandra. What I'm not seeing is any reason to care for them. (Though I care slightly for Cassandra, since I don't want her parents, Jesse and Angie, to be worried about her. Remember, when Darnell Williams cries, the world cries with him.) I am concerned about another upcoming newbie, a recast and maybe SORASed Petey Cortlandt. SOD mentions that Colby will not be glad to see him. Ummmm....why? WARNING: artificial backstory alert! If this turns out to be the summer of NuColby, Dre, Frankie, Cassandra, NuPetey and Randi I might just stick to CBS the hour of 12PM - 1PM.

This summer, I don't think I'll be switching off ONE LIFE TO LIVE. The show continues to be insanely exciting. Nora denouncing Lindsay had an unexpected payoff. Lindsay seemed sympathetic, while Nora became an unlikable, vengeful harpy in the eyes of her boyfriend, ex-husband and son. What an intriguing way to wrap up this story. I am also loving the twists and turns with Starr's baby, even though The Unemployed Boyfriend found it unconvincing that Cole would go to Todd, The Face Of Evil, for help. I think it's perfectly in character for Cole, who I think of as a total dipshit for not wearing a condom in the first place!!!

I still check into DAYS OF OUR LIVES as well. James Scott can have sex with me in the elevators of my broken down apartment building anytime, and not just because he looks good with his shirt off. Unlike Neil on ATWT today, EJ is totally believable as someone raised in the UK. Notice the way he pronounces garage and, again, I will point out the scene where EJ eats fish'n'chips the authentic way with salt and vinegar. I have been to the UK 5 times and, overall, the guys there are hot metrosexuals like EJ and not poncey weeds like the stereotype on today's ATWT. So hooray for James Scott and whoever steers EJ away from cultural stereotyping!

GENERAL HOSPITAL amused the hell out of me with the elaborate shenanigans that resulted in photos of Jax and Kate being taken that look like she's giving him a hummer! How on earth is GH going to refer to this storyline in the show? Can you even say "blowjob" on daytime TV? In a more serious storyline, The Unemployed Boyfriend and I were glued to our seats waiting for Lulu to kill Logan, who deserves death for hurting Maxie. Nor have I forgotten the episode where he beat up Spinelli and referred to him as a "little bitch." No, Logan, it is karma that is a bitch and right now that bitch is biting you in the ass.
Speaking of bitches, shouldn't Livia Soprano have popped up in today's episode to snark "Poor you!" at Claudia Zaccarah? God, what a whinger.

Despite poor directing, I was amused to see Reva's (apparently low, low, low budget) movie on GUIDING LIGHT with the changed ending so Josh chooses Reva over Cassie. I chortled at the lookalike playing Cassie in the movie, too. I still feel sorry for Caitlin Van Zandt as she is forced to enact idiotic stories for her character. Caitlin, please contact HBO. They had a hit with JOHN ADAMS and a GEORGE WASHINGTON miniseries must be in the works. You will be perfect as George's epileptic stepdaughter, Patsy. I do not mean that in a pejorative way. You are a real talent and you are wasted on Ellen Wheeler's Cameraphone (TM) when you should be seen in High Definition. Get out of Peapack, Caitlin!