VIVIAN IS STILL IN THE COFFIN

..so I'm not really watching DAYS OF OUR LIVES right now, sorry! I love Louise Sorel (pictured) but this story should have lasted 2 days tops! This is the kind of crap that sunk PASSIONS.

I have been watching more of ONE LIFE TO LIVE, thanks to the casting of Kim Zimmer and Jessica Leccia from GUIDING LIGHT and Terri Columbino from AS THE WORLD TURNS. However, the hand of ex-ATWT writer Jean Passanante can be felt now that she writes for OLTL. This woman's credo? When in doubt on how to use a character, turn 'em psycho and get them out of town! Sigh.

That being said, I am really enjoying the Psycho Lisa storyline on GENERAL HOSPITAL. It is fascinating that Lisa wasn't killed off or sent to an asylum, as she continues to work at the hospital and everyone just has to deal with it. Today, when Sonny asked Robin if she wanted him to kill Lisa -- how many of us were screaming at the TV "SAY YES!!!" But it is in keeping with Robin's character that she wouldn't do that. Also good viewing was any scene with Adrienne Barbeau and/or Spinelli. I still want Suzanne to mix it up with more people, but her dumbfounded "Is that a kind of code?" response to Spinelli's babblings was very funny. I'm still hoping for Spinelli to get back with Maxie. They just don't sparkle with anyone else the same way.

NO GAY LIVES TO LIVE

TV GUIDE's website has broke the news that ONE LIFE TO LIVE's Kyle and Fish (Scott Evans, pictured) are out of the show. This is just appalling; OLTL should not get rid of a story generating, front burner couple with a fanbase, regardless of sexual orientation. I have never appreciated AS THE WORLD TURNS more for Luke, Noah, Doctor Reid and a host of other gay supporting characters.

So ATWT, OLTL and DOOL all air at the same time in Los Angeles. I will be taping ATWT, watching DOOL and ignoring OLTL unless they get their shit together. DOOL is very good right now. I used to be the biggest EJ/Sami supporter until recently, as EJ has gone past the point of no return with his babyknapping activities. Is the only person who can be paired with EJ now the equally dastardly Nicole?

GENERAL HOSPITAL was great today, with special mention having to be made of the way minor characters like Bernie's secretary and Alexis' receptionist are written and performed. They are given just enough twists of personality to make them interesting and fun so there is no filler in the show. Hooray for good writing and acting!

LEMON COUPLE?

In the current issue of SOAP OPERA DIGEST Carolyn Hinsey refers to the "lemon couples" of ALL MY CHILDREN: Brot/Natalia, JR/Marissa, Erica /Ryan and...Adam/Annie. REALLY? I dig Adam and Annie a lot -- a crazy old bastard paired with a young psycho, both played by great actors, makes for riveting viewing. If this pairing is a lemon, then it must be lemonade! (I can't believe I just wrote that.)

While I'm on the subject of SOD columnists, I read with interest Mala Bhattacharjee's blog where she expressed dismay at a South Asian actor appearing on THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL ...as a cab driver. Being half South Asian myself, I agree that there are much better roles for South Asian actors in soaps and TV, in general. For example, many South Asians work in the medical profession and that needs more representation now that ER is over. Also, 97% of South Asian women are beautiful and would seem a natural choice for soaps. I mostly appreciate color blind casting, where a person's ethnicity has nothing to do with the role, like Rekha Sharma in BATTLESTAR GALACTICA and V. More along those lines, please!

DAYS OF OUR LIVES continued to astonish. The confrontation in jail between Mia and Nicole was great because Mia said EVERYTHING you wanted to say to Nicole, and did NOT let up. "You're a MONSTER!" she wailed. I know the actress who plays Mia is like, 3 or something, but she rocked!

I also watched ONE LIFE TO LIVE, which showed off the chemistry between McBain and Natalie to good effect, and GENERAL HOSPITAL, where James Franco made his first appearance to the tune of MAD WORLD while wearing a hoodie. Very DONNIE DARKO.

GOODBYE TO PHIL?

It looks like Thom Bierdz is on his way out of THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS, if today's episode was any indication. I think that would be a real shame, as a romance between Philip and Rafe seems a no-brainer to me.

I am enjoying seeing Sarah Brown on THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL. Am I the only one who remembers how good she was on AS THE WORLD TURNS as Julia, an ordinary woman who nonetheless managed to bed both Jack and Holden and had the whole town gunning for her as a result? While on the subject of Julia, are ATWT viewers ever going to see Julia's son JJ again or is he stuck in the limbo of soap boarding school?

ALL MY CHILDREN continues to annoy and delight in equal doses. I like the Annie/Adam dynamic very much -- the rest, meh, especially Erica/Ryan, who I don't think anyone wants to see together! The Retired Mom called me up all frantic with worry that AMC's upcoming move to Los Angeles meant all her favorites leaving the cast. I hastened to reassure her that she's only losing Thorsten Kaye, but she wasn't having any of it. "What about Kendall?" "She's staying." "But she had a baby!" "She's on maternity leave." "Well, what about Tad? And Cameron?"and so on. I'm actually only checking out AMC lately since I read in SOAP OPERA DIGEST that Nancy Opel has joined the cast as the Chandler cook. This year I saw Nancy in her triple role onstage in THE TOXIC AVENGER and I can not wait to see her inject some levity into this show!

DAYS OF OUR LIVES was amazing. I was utterly gripped by the whole Nicole baby mess and entertained by the lighter storyline involving Carly and Vivian.

I also watched ONE LIFE TO LIVE -- Brian Kerwin was excellent today, but I didn't like how Natalie was going on about Jared keeping mints on his person at all times and how she loved it because that was BULLSHIT. When the frak did Natalie and Jared ever have these conversations? The writers shouldn't make up personal details for characters that weren't established onscreen beforehand.

GENERAL HOSPITAL was intriguing, but I had to cut my viewing short to go to work on my day off for a health benefits meeting. Hooray for job benefits, but universal health care for all can not come soon enough.

MASONRY

Watching ONE LIFE TO LIVE recently has brought back many happy memories of Forbes March (pictured) as Nash, since Jessica was staying with Nash's parents and flashing back to the birth of their child.  I am thrilled that he is joining AS THE WORLD TURNS as Mason, Noah's gay college advisor.  I hope the show makes good use of him!

In theory, I should be loving Rafe and Sami on DAYS OF OUR LIVES as much as the fans and critics do, but I'm just not feeling it.  I think I resent the way that their scenes together scream LOVE THIS NEW SUPERCOUPLE!  Or I might just like Sami better with EJ or Lucas.

I do like Drew Garrett as the SORASed Michael on GENERAL HOSPITAL.  He might just be neck-and-neck with Mick Hazen as Parker on ATWT for the coveted title of Angriest Teen On Daytime With A Woman Named Carly As Their Mother.  Today's episode was also good for giving Alexis something to do and giving her a flirtation with Mark Pinter's character.  Have I mentioned as yet the gorgeousness of the new sets in eye popping High Definition?  The new nurse's station looks like it goes on for miles and miles.  I look forward to the next ball or party in Port Charles!

It is hard for me to summon up any enthusiasm for the dying, camera-phoned GUIDING LIGHT.  From scene to scene it is choppy, verging on the unwatchable.  The bits of it I saw today were only viewed during the commercials for GH.  I wonder if there's any chance that for its last week or so, GL could go back to full studio filming?

WHO WILL DIE ON ALL MY CHILDREN?

I reckon it will be Ryan, because Cameron Mathison has received more exposure from DANCING WITH THE STARS and has seen his hosting duties increase elsewhere.  Plus, everyone seems to hate Ryan being paired with Kendall, so it seems logical for AMC to cut their losses with this character.

I was stuck in ONE LIFE TO LIVE prom land today, what with this afternoon's episode and the musical episode from 2 years ago that Soap Net reran Sunday.  (Though, typically, it was a special 2 part event and Soap Net only ran one part.)  The Pussycat Dolls' English language rendition of "Jai Ho" was horrid, but at least it was limited to the prom so we didn't have to witness Dorian and Vicki pretending to get down to those cheesy skanks.

DAYS OF OUR LIVES entertained me with the scenes between Nicole and Sami.  Their current predicament is so bizarre.  Nicole has Sami's baby but Sami doesn't know it.  Sami has what she thinks is her baby but is actually Mia's but she is passing it off as someone else's.  Nicole knows Sami is lying about her (Sami's) baby but she won't say anything because she (Nicole) wants to hold onto her (Sami's) baby.  So both women are playing a dangerous game which can play out for years if we are unlucky.

Writing that down exhausted me.  I must mention how fabulous GENERAL HOSPITAL looks in High Definition, and how awful GUIDING LIGHT looks in lower-than-low definition.  Did you notice that GL did not obstruct the Abercrombie & Fitch logo on James' jacket?  Could this be because GL forces the actors to wear those own clothes to shooting and the performers don't want their clothes destroyed by gaffing tape?

GUIDING LIGHT CANCELLED

It gives me no pleasure to blog about this.  What are the cast and crew going to do?  I don't wish unemployment on anyone, let alone this bunch.  GL should never, ever have gone to all digital video and 80% location shooting.  It makes for a terrible looking show, one which if you happen across  you flip channels away from.

Watching other soaps today was an odd experience, as I wondered what are the chances of other soaps staying on air.  THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS looks like a class act and is the only show shot in High Definition.  It has been top of the ratings for decades, so I think it's safe.  THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL is an international hit and its half hour status makes it automatically cheaper to produce, so that one's a keeper as well.

If you look at the ratings for ONE LIFE TO LIVE, it is actually the show that has lost the least amount of viewers in a decade.  (I swear, I saw it in TV GUIDE when they had an article about Deidre Hall and Drake Hogestyn being fired from DAYS OF OUR LIVES and the resultant death of daytime panic.)  They also know how to spend money wisely -- see the exciting, frequently updated credits that make you WANT to watch the show.  Recently, they pulled off an entire ball on a shoestring.  Plus, their storytelling is superb.  There is always the impression that something is happening in Llanview that is different and unmissable.  By giving each episode an individual title, you are encouraged to think of OLTL as a proper show that you sit down and watch, instead of having on as background.

Unfortunately, I think DOOL will be the next soap on the chopping block.  The show is lacking in energy and buzz and the high profile firings/leavings of popular, mostly long running cast members will not help keep this program on air.

AS THE WORLD TURNS is a difficult case.  While the groundbreaking, chemistry filled Nuke storyline has actually brought new viewers to soaps, the storytelling on ATWT is tired.  Here is my own personal example of the effect ATWT's scripting has had.  I love ATWT enough that I will fly out to New York for the fan club luncheon to meet the wonderful cast.  However, the writing on the show is so lacklustre that I can not keep up with watching ATWT, week in, week out.  I have episodes backed up on my DVR from February.  It is not must see TV for me any longer.  ATWT has to BECOME must see TV or else it will cease to exist.

WHY CAN'T RON CARLIVATI BE HEAD WRITER FOR AS THE WORLD TURNS?

As I watched yesterday and today's episodes of ONE LIFE TO LIVE, I was struck by how much more involving Llanview is than Oakdale.  Plots intersect, scenes end on hooks that keep you watching through the commercials, and characters interact in believable ways even when the stories are a trifle far-fetched.  Meanwhile, ATWT episodes from the beginning of February languish in my DVR.  Que lastima.

GENERAL HOSPITAL has been hit-and-miss lately, but today's episode was mostly hit.  I enjoyed Alexis covering for a hiding Winifred by claiming Winifred's muffled intake of breath was a fart.  I like the interplay between Olivia and Sonny, and the quietly shocking story of Robin running away to flirt with bartenders who have opera tickets.  (Unlike Robin, I would have gone to the opera, but hey, I'm easy that way.)

I watched a little bit of DAYS OF OUR LIVES and was pleased to see more Mya.  She underplays everything and I think she'll be a good match with Will.  Plus, I am a sentimental sucker for performers that were only supposed to be short-term but wind up with contracts.  More Mya and less Molly Burnett please!  I especially hated how Melanie played the "I'm only 18!" card today.  You can't expect to be taken seriously as a business woman only to blame your missteps on youthful folly!  (That is the most ridiculously Victorian phrase I have ever used in my writing, ever.)  Mya revealing all to Tony DiMera is potentially a good twist, but ruined for me by the knowledge that Tony will not be in the show for much longer.

Watched the scene on You Tube where GUIDING LIGHT's Grady gets pushed off a cliff.  Well, at least a dummy of Kane Manera did, anyway.  Hooray!  I can't believe we're supposed to feel sorry for Daisy!  To paraphrase Joy Behar, "Who cares?  So what?"

To return to OLTL, wasn't it fun to see Dan Gauthier show up on LOST as Jeff Fahey's co-pilot?  I always melodramatically overreact to surprise appearances of ex-soap stars in my favorite shows.  When his name appeared in the credits, I murmured under my breath "Oh my God..." but did not tell The Boyfriend why until the first commercial.  I am sure it is my air of mystery that keeps him enthralled.

Speaking of The Boyfriend, he gave me the ATWT tie-in novel THE MAN FROM OAKDALE as a birthday gift Monday.  It is hugely enjoyable so far, with a fanwanky plot that takes in appearances from Sierra, Frannie and Sabrina, and Will and Gwen!  Henry and Vienna are characterized very well, with their written escapades being preferable to all the baby nonsense they are going through on the television show.  I wish there was a book such as this for ALL MY CHILDREN's Reese and Bianca, an engaging couple given short shrift on TV who might be a great pair to write a novel about.  I would love to read about their courtship and shacking up together, rather than see Reese fall through glass and get blinded by her heterosexual crush.

VIVA ALLEY MILLS!

How great was Alley Mills on THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL today?  It's tricky to get all dramatic when you're playing a comedic character but Alley pulled it off.  I felt so sorry for Pam!  Plus, Stephanie becomes 100% more likable when defending her sister.

THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS was also very good.  I enjoyed seeing Ely Pouget as Kay's doctor.  She was one of the stars of the short-lived '90s revival of DARK SHADOWS and also appeared in LA TAKEDOWN, Michael Mann's TV movie trial run for HEAT.  Hooray for surviving the '90s!

ALL MY CHILDREN was not so hot.  Despite interesting new characters like Taylor and Brot, Chuck Pratt's take on Pine Valley has amounted to a big heap of nothing.  I don't care about Zach and Kendall nor do I find it believable that Krystal would be so taken in by David.  Don't get me started on the travesty of Bianca and Reese and how daytime's first lesbian marriage was completely undone by having Reese kiss Zach the day before the wedding! 

ONE LIFE TO LIVE continues to thrive.  The way the plots intersect is ingenious and it's nice to see a show that makes room for fun supporting characters like Moe and Noelle while strengthening new characters like Ray and Stacy.  I am starting to see some serious chemistry between Dorian and Ray that I hope they run with!

DAYS OF OUR LIVES continues to be a bit meh.  Now that Sami is back in town and I've got a chance to see her interact with the 3 men in her life, I'm going to say Lucas is the man for her.  Alison Sweeney and Bryan Datillo are doing a very good job of interacting with the SORASed Will, who is certainly better looking than the old Will but hasn't quite convinced me yet that he is Sami and Lucas' offspring.

Speaking of unconvincing offspring, I have the ghastly feeling that Ethan on GENERAL HOSPITAL will be revealed as the son of Holly and/or Robert Scorpio in a blatant attempt to curry audience affection.  I'm not liking this "lovable scoundrel" one bit; he's not attractive or charming despite everyone on screen telling us he is!  He looks like a bad carbon copy of Tom Pelphrey.  In fact, could Ethan have been the role on GH that Tom Pelphrey was rumored to be up for, as hinted in SOAP OPERA DIGEST?  It would explain Ethan's look and bad boy behavior, which would seem tailor made for Tom -- who could actually have pulled this character off.

LOVED Olivia and Natalia on GUIDING LIGHT today!  Their scenes are so full of believable awkwardness and tension.  Curious to see how much Doris' newly exposed lesbianism will impact the rest of the show -- how about some emotional scenes with her daughter Ashlee, played by the fabulous but underused Caitlin Van Zandt?

Inspired by a new book by Jeff Thompson , THE TELEVISION HORRORS OF DAN CURTIS, I watched an episode of DARK SHADOWS for the first time in many, many months.  It was the second episode of the series and the biggest giggles came from Joan Bennett traipsing around her mansion at all hours of the night, in full evening gown and pearls.  She didn't so much project class as daftness, especially with the implication that she cooks everyone's meals and does the household chores in the same outfit!

WHY CRYSTAL HUNT IS BETTER THAN MOLLY BURNETT

Because she can act!

Seriously, ONE LIFE TO LIVE's Stacy and DAYS OF OUR LIVES' Melanie are both bad to the bone but I enjoy watching Stacy because Crystal Hunt is one stone cold bitch.  DOOL's Melanie, on the other hand, keeps trying to play the "I'm really vulnerable and sympathetic!  Enjoy my mischief!" card that becomes extremely tiresome in the hands of Molly Burnett, who overdoes the infantile pout something fierce.  I also enjoyed seeing Vanessa booted out of Llanview.  She was such an odd, bland character whose motivations were never clear.

GUIDING LIGHT continues to be on an upswing, despite being bookended with Kane Manera scenes.   Any time there are scenes with Reva, Jeffrey, Philip, Buzz and Alan I am glued to the screen.  If there's one thing GL does well, it is grief and its consequences -- remember, GL only started to get good about 5 years ago when it appeared Philip had been killed.    Now, if this absurd Lizzie kidnapping plot comes to a conclusion and Ellen Wheeler takes a leap and makes Natalia and Olivia lovers, GL might just become my new favorite show.  Though I am starting to wonder about Ashlee.  Shouldn't we be seeing her reaction to Coop's death?  (Full disclaimer: I haven't been watching every episode, so apologies if I missed some prime Caitlin Van Zandt emoting.)  

I haven't written about AS THE WORLD TURNS in ages.  That's because our DVR is insanely backed up and we only watched the episode from 1/23/09 tonight!  It is hard to get motivated to watch this show when there isn't a Nuke storyline running.  It is even harder when a boxset of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA is competing for your viewing!  Hopefully we will get caught up in time for the ATWT fan club luncheon in April. Onwards!

GOODBYE MARY BETH EVANS AND STEPHEN NICHOLS

Watching DAYS OF OUR LIVES today was rather masochistic.   Steve and Kayla's final scenes sucked royally, giving no opportunity for the actors to provide a sense of closure to their characters, thus depriving the viewer of a happy ending to a beloved couple.  Add to that Molly Burnett's childish whine as the annoying Melanie, the pain of seeing the fabulous Chelsea getting a storyline with Max as we know Rachel Melvin is leaving and Nicole's nightmare that stretched OVER A COMMERCIAL BREAK and it's no wonder I'm switching to ONE LIFE TO LIVE!

The aftermath of the Go Red ball was quite compelling, culminating in the discovery that Marty was lying next to the corpse of someone from I WANNA BE A SOAP STAR. Actually, I've completely forgotten his name but the actor did very well in his stint, certainly better than INTURN winner Ryan in ATWT.  The use of flashbacks was handled well, too.  Hooray for a show that screams confidence while other shows like DOOL seem ashamed to hold onto their best assets.

RACHEL NOT GETTING MARRIED BUT LEAVING THE SHOW INSTEAD

With the news that Rachel Melvin is leaving DAYS OF  OUR LIVES, I now have even more reason to spend my 1-2PM hour watching ONE LIFE TO LIVE instead.  With Chelsea gone, what young girl on the show are we supposed to root for?  GOSSIP GIRL wannabe Melanie?  Good grief.

On GENERAL HOSPITAL today, I found Olivia throwing away the DVD incriminating Claudia to be very contrived.  There was no point to Olivia doing that; the only reason it happened was to prolong Claudia Zacchara's life beyond the point of common sense.  Seriously, there is no reason for any of the Zaccharas to still be alive, considering how they have wronged everyone in Port Charles who has access to a gun.  GH should cut its losses and get rid of this daft family once and for all!  Preferably in a blaze of gunfire.

On the Internet front, I have greatly enjoyed watching the 2007 reality show INTURN 2 on cbs.com.  In it, aspiring actors vie to win a 13 week contract on AS THE WORLD TURNS.  Year 2 of the show is gobsmackingly great for 97% of it's run.  Never have I seen such a group of people in a reality show that were just so much fun to watch, from evil hell bitch Natalie, to cute but dim Adam, to the genuinely talented Lauretta Vaughn.  The only bad thing about the whole show was the final segment, which is anti-climatic and a bit dull.  Plus, the person who won turned out to be terrible on ATWT and was killed off!

I finished reading the third GOSSIP GIRL novel, ALL I WANT IS EVERYTHING, and the books are proving to be just as addictive as the TV show, only with an extra layer of wit and satire that inches the books ahead of the show a smidge.  And once you read about the character of Adam on the page, you realize that the show's miscasting and rewriting of this pivotal player is one of TV GG's biggest fumbles.

But no matter how flawed GG might get, it is always 300 million times better than the main GG rip-off, the horrifying new series of 90210.  I was forcibly reminded of this as a street near my destination tonight was blocked off to turn a corner restaurant into the frakkin' Peach Pit!  90210?  More like 90036!

xoxo

THE HOURGLASS IS RUNNING OUT

With the news that DAYS OF OUR LIVES is getting rid of Patch and Kayla, I have to wonder just how long this show can continue.  I think it's time for a deathmatch between DOOL and GUIDING LIGHT.  Which will be cancelled first?  My money is on DOOL.  At least GL is trying to lure viewers with pseudo lesbians and Phillip Happens Here. (The latter is GL's bewildering new ad slogan for the return of Grant Aleksander.  Are they trying to compare him to shit?!?) All DOOL is doing is driving viewers away by firing their favorite actors!

I saw a little bit of ONE LIFE TO LIVE tonight and was happy to see Scott Clifton.  I loved the hell out of him as Dillon on GENERAL HOSPITAL, and that's not just because my boyfriend was a film major in college as well!  I'm not sure what OLTL has planned for Scott's new character of Mr. J.  I would love for him to find out Todd's involvement in his Mom's death, leading to a final, definite Death of Todd story but we all know that's not going to happen.  Yes, all soaps need a good villain, but isn't Todd past the point of redemption many times over?

CHAMPAGNE TASTE

Watched some of DAYS OF OUR LIVES with breakfast and I am loving Chelsea.  My adoration of Chelsea stands in direct proportion to my hatred of Melanie, a character who possesses no redeeming values whatsoever -- and I don't mean that in a GOSSIP GIRL so-bad-they're-good way, I mean that in a Good-Lord-They're-Keeping-Her-And-Firing-John-And-Marlena??!! way.

Saw the end of ALL MY CHILDREN and found the kiss between Zach and Reese to be puzzlingly staged.  It is meant to be friendly and platonic, but the way Zach kisses Reese is definitely romantic.  Between this and Luke's jealousy of Noah and Maddie on AS THE WORLD TURNS, I am weary of gay love thwarted by semi-heterosexual overtones between friends.

I almost got sucked into today's episode of ONE LIFE TO LIVE, because Marty's plan of revenge against Todd is an irresistible story.  However, the notion of actually having to watch a band named Puddle Of Mudd that da kidz are down wiv filled me with fear and dread, so I switched off.  Am I the only one who remembers Information Society appearing on OLTL in the eighties ?  Erika Slezak was the consummate pro, smiling and applauding this long forgotten band even though I could tell she knew their fame wasn't even gonna last until the next commercial break.

The household's main viewing tonight was the sparkling Blu-Ray disc of the campy yet strangely entertaining 1966 BATMAN movie.  I didn't think this title had any soap connections but I was proven wrong as Lee Meriwether plays Catwoman...decades before she joined the cast of ALL MY CHILDREN as Ruth Martin!  It is going to be surreal when Ruth next makes an appearance in Pine Valley!  (P.S. RIP Eartha Kitt, who  essayed the role of Catwoman in the BATMAN TV series.  I'm trying to work a THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, JULIE NEWMAR joke in here but it's late and I feel a cold coming on.)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I felt a little like saying "Bah humbug!" hearing Jana blather on about V8 on THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS and I still just can't find myself caring about Devon, Ana, or Ana's mom.  Yet the good gradually pushed out the bad on Y&R, with the Victor flashbacks and Kay regaining her memory being particularly jolting.

THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL was also very good, with Bradley Bell's holiday wishes at the end of the show seeming rightfully earned.  This is a producer who knows when his show is working and when it isn't.  Right now it is working very well.  The sentimentality of the holidays must be getting to me because I didn't even mind Granpa Jack Wagner proposing to his child bride!  Oh wait...

I saw a bit of today's ALL MY CHILDREN rerun.  Not really feeling the tornado drama, unfortunately, since another tornado episode is being rerun Christmas Day.  Still, nice that they brought back Bianca, and I really don't mind that they retconned the story so Zach is the father of her baby.

I saw some of DOOL, OLTL's rerun and the last half of GH's Christmas episode, but you know what?  It's Christmas and I've got some words of cheer.  Last year I was completely unemployed and at a real low.  This year my life has turned around.  I have a great job, a great boyfriend (who has a great new job) and an adorable cat.  I have fabulous friends all over the world!  I have a Ghetto Fabulous Mom who I have to thank for introducing me to soaps at a young age.  The nation as a whole is in state of optimism, and I like riding that wave for once.  I am so happy right now with my life, and I am glad that I've always had soaps for fun and escapism, through good times and bad.

So please,  have a Happy Holiday or at least go out and see a good movie.  And if you can't do that, check out the vintage Y&R episode on CBS and the GH Christmas episode mini-marathon on SoapNet!  I hope everyone's day is joyous and soapy.

OMFG BRIAN NO!!!

I hate to say it, but THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS storyline of Kay living Marge's life is just not going to work because Kay has amnesia. If you look at ONE LIFE TO LIVE approximately one year ago, Viki was living a new life as a waitress by choice and it was terrific seeing her life (and the show) expand because of the choices she made. Kay is not living Marge's life by choice but by circumstance. What we now have on Y&R is a situation with no characterization.

On THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL, we are now getting an unexpected, but welcome, bit of characterization with Bad Rick. I'm enjoying Bad Rick a great deal. You have to admire anyone who thinks they can seduce women while hobbling around on a cane. Otherwhere in the episode, Ridge eating sushi off of Brooke's body was more funny than sexy. It looked delicious but my brain kept on screaming "You need soy sauce and wasabi, people!" Would it have been too messy for Brooke to dribble packets of soy sauce on her arms and put some lumps of green wasabi in her belly button? Probably.

Speaking of messes -- HOLY SHIT is DAYS OF OUR LIVES on a kamikaze mission or what? By now the news of Deidre Hall and Drake Hogestyn being let go overshadows everything, but I was still indignant at today's episode. Is this the last we see of Nick?!? I hope not. Blake Berris did a fantastic acting job as Psycho Stalker Nick, but the change in character is unbelievable and the attempt to make Nick's accidental killing of Willow now semi-intentional is just risible. I will give DOOL kudos for the scene where Chelsea and Steph laid into Melanie for causing Nick to go off the deep end, because that is exactly how the audience feels! I don't think it was smart to introduce a new character, pair her off with an established fan favorite and then have him turn Psycho Stalker on her. Doesn't exactly make you like the newbie...

ONE LIFE TO LIVE is very compelling lately. I love the highly theatrical presentation of Jessica's three personalities. The cage with mirror shards representing her mind is simple and effective, and the large screens showing the outside world are also well-used. Hooray for good set decoration!

GENERAL HOSPITAL generally has good sets, but it was so boring today that I actually spent most of my 2-3PM soap viewing switched over to praqctically set-less GUIDING LIGHT. (!!!!) Here is GH today: mob war, mob war, blah, blah, Zaccarah, blah, Bensonhurst, blah, Claudia, yadda yadda. I do like Olivia a lot, but how much newly invented backstory for Sonny can they cram into his life before he came to Port Charles?

GUIDING LIGHT was a highly schizophrenic viewing experience. On one hand you've got Reva with leaukemia and a pregnancy, and it is a daring, original story. I tell ya, Kim Zimmer and Elizabeth Hubbard will be battling it out with duelling hospital bed scenes come Emmy time next year! On the other hand, soooo much of the show is now revolving around G/Grady/Gillespie, it's ludicrous. Kane Manera is a very limited actor, and he can not hit all the beats expected of him -- charming one moment, scary the next, a bit of both sometime. Plus, pair him with a good actress like Caitlin Van Zandt and his defects are all too apparent. Really, when it became clear that Cassie was not going to be part of the show for much longer, they should have had her kill Grady as revenge for Tammy's death. Then she could have gone on the run and two annoying residents of Springfield would be off our screens.

AS THE WORLD TURNS continued its upward swing today. (Have I mentioned that the show's been so good that I am finally caught up? Woohoo!) Laurence Lau excelled today in his scenes with Elizabeth Hubbard and Van Hansis. He was so good I almost started to think that Luke imagined the drunken kiss as well! I think Brian really does love Lucinda, but he can't help being attracted to Luke (can you really blame him?) and is going to repress that attraction at all costs...until it erupts again. Mistletoe at the Snyder farm in the Kitchen Of Lust, perhaps?

DISAPPOINTMENTS AND GLORIES

We are still incredibly behind in our AS THE WORLD TURNS viewing, with tonight's episode being from October 29!! It was a strong episode, but I was disappointed to see Alison become a victim of Evil Rapey Frat Boys. When they cornered her with evidence of her porn star past and demanded she strip, Alley Cat should have shown her claws, spit in their faces and FUCKED THEIR SHIT UP!!! Sorry, seeing strong women humiliated is not my idea of entertainment. Seeing strong women kick ass is! This storyline can still be redeemed if Alison gets some kind of revenge or justice.

One storyline that I fear can not be redeemed is the character assassination of Nick on DAYS OF OUR LIVES. Now he's a stalker? And if you read the spoilers in this week's SOAP OPERA DIGEST, a killer?? Usually when a dull character has run out of story, they turn psycho (recent examples being AMC's Annie and ATWT's Sofie.) However, Nick has loads of story potential including the possibility of a reunion with Chelsea. Why waste Blake Berris this way?

One actress not being wasted is Tamara Braun. (As seen up and to the left!) From out of the depths of my DVR came last Friday's AMC, in which Reese proposed to Bianca! It was wonderful and romantic, but somewhat bittersweet in the light of Prop 8 banning gay marriage being passed in California this week. It also sucks that GREY'S ANATOMY's Brooke Smith, who plays a lesbian, has been fired from that show. So bravo to AMC for showing two fabulous actresses playing two women who are in a committed relationship and love each other. Extra kudos for advertising Tamara Braun's return and the proposal so heavily and forthrightly -- no shame over lesbian content here, unlike in the production offices of GREY'S ANATOMY.

Another actress not being wasted is Jeanne Cooper, giving a real good show as Kay and Marge on THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS. I like the Paris remote, too, especially in HD. The only thing I take issue with is Noah describing Paris as "sick", meaning really, really cool. No teenager talks like that. The only other time I've heard "sick" as a positive term was in ONE LIFE TO LIVE, uttered by Marco. I think some soap writers' kids are taking the piss. How's that for authentic slang, soap writers?

BIANCA!

Today was the first full episode of ALL MY CHILDREN I've seen since Bink's return and I am just over the moon. I don't know how Eden Riegel does it, but she makes Bianca instantly likable, so likable that I could not switch over to THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL when 12:30 rolled around. It looks like things will get even better, with Tamara Braun joining the cast as Bianca's partner and the surprise return of David Hayward today! Thank you Head Writer Chuck Pratt!!!

I saw the first bit of ONE LIFE TO LIVE today and while it is overall very compelling, the sequences of Tina setting dynamite and then putting it out with a pillow because she realized she would blow herself up (!) plus Gigi disguised as a nurse in plain sight of Adriana reeked of PASSIONS. Please, Ron Carlivati, just because James E Reilly is dead, it doesn't mean that you have to fill his void. I think, generally, viewers prefer romance and drama to camp and silliness.

FROM THE BOARDROOM TO THE BORED ROOM

I really enjoyed the scenes on THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS today where Nikki and Phyllis bitched at each other, and the subsequent scenes of Nikki snarking at Adam. I am afraid that I will be tuning out tomorrow, though, since who cares if Ana isn't going to school?

Crazy Pam was given full reign on THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL. I love Alley Mills! She manages to go over the top without losing the core of her character. I am concerned that by pushing her so far over the edge Pam will become unredeemable and will disappear from our screens. Let's hope she's another one of those soap characters who is bad because of a brain tumour that can be easily cured!

I'm a bit bored with ALL MY CHILDREN. I am looking forward to the tornado that will bring back Bianca and David and will lead to Tamara Braun joining the show. I'm just tired of Kendall, Ryan, Greenlee, Annie and Zach (though I have fond feelings for Thorsten Kaye from his PORT CHARLES days.) I actively dislike Petey and Colby. Their performances are waaay too undergrad stagy -- both need to tone it down! However, when I see Taylor and Jake my interest perks up, and the show is also getting good mileage out of Carmen and Amanda. Randi is creepy, though. The Boyfriend pointed out that she seems to be wearing colored contacts, which have the unfortunate effect of making the actress unexpressive and possesive of cold, dead eyes. If they were smart, the writers would work in a reference as to how Randi's days as a whore have killed her soul!

ONE LIFE TO LIVE was fortunately spellbinding. Love, love, love Ilene Kristen letting it all hang out emotionally and otherwise -- look at that mascara run for its life! What a jolt after seeing Ilene 30 years ago as Delia in RYAN'S HOPE! Plus, the return of Adriana was dramatically pleasing. It offers her a chance at redemption and Melissa Fumero has really nailed the part.

GENERAL HOSPITAL was sorta good, sorta bad. All the stuff with Big Pussy was contrived and unfunny, even though GH's roster of character actors (Diane, Max, new arrival Vincent Pastore) were on top form. Really liked the scene where Epiphany put Robin and Patrick in their places, though. How unprofessional of them to take their relationship shit out on their staff!

GUIDING LIGHT was torture today. WAAAAAAAAAY too much Grady/Kane Manera for my liking. He is just too limited a performer (and the character of Grady just too repugnant) to carry so much story. Two scenes that stand out for suckiness today were the scenes where Grady tells Dinah he was hitting on her mom and where he brings Lizzie flowers. His facial expressions were woeful; incapable of conveying anything. He also has a real lack of comic timing. I also hated all the scenes of Mallett giving Marina the house. I like domestic soaps as much as anyone, but that storyline was too banal. What next -- Grady and Daisy go to the supermarket together to pick up snacks for the Peapack Craft Services table?

TRUE MEGAN

In the pre-credits sequence of TRUE BLOOD tonight I was surprised and delighted to see Jessica Tuck, in a small but important role. Jessica and her ONE LIFE TO LIVE character, Megan, were sorely missed on the recent 40th anniversary episodes of OLTL. We got one vintage clip but I would really have liked to see Jessica at the point in OLTL where she was playing Megan, Megan's split personality Ruby and the two roles Megan was playing in OLTL's soap within a soap -- all at THE SAME TIME. (IIRC!!!) Hopefully there'll be more Jessica Tuck goodness in TRUE BLOOD; I rather watch her in this than in any iteration of HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL!