...because I interrupted my soap viewing today to go to the museum that Victor and Sabrina were canoodling around a couple of months ago. You know, the one with the street lamp installation? I find it ironic that I turned off THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS to visit a place seen in Y&R. From the bit of show I saw today, I was surprised to see Tammin Sursok as Colleen, since it felt like she was written out six weeks ago. Did the producers rehire her after her Emmy nom? Great, now we'll have NuColleen speaking with a quasi-Australian accent forevah. And she has an annoyingly large forehead, too.
I watched a rerun of GOSSIP GIRL tonight and was startled by the omniscient narrator, Gossip Girl, getting involved in the action by sending Blair an email of Nate with Jenny. This opens up a can of worms -- instead of being a chronicler of the Upper East Side, Gossip Girl is now a Blair-hater. If that's the case, then who is Gossip Girl? No one in the diegesis of the show can be this all powerful! I like to think it's the marginalized gay, Eric, wreaking vengeance on all those heteros who monopolize the air time.
XOXO
You know you love me.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
THE GH SPINOFF THAT WASN'T NIGHT SHIFT
I watched two episodes of PORT CHARLES tonight that I DVRed off of SoapNet. I revisit this show from time to time, out of nostalgia for the astonishing TAINTED LOVE arc. It might have been the best daytime drama I'd EVER seen -- vampire Caleb (brilliantly played by the sexy Michael Easton) ran amok in Port Charles, causing more havoc than Barnabas Collins did in four years of DARK SHADOWS. Unfortunately, PC's telenovela style arcs meant that Caleb was gone in 13 weeks, and I stopped watching. The supernatural (and Caleb!) later returned to the show with a vengeance, but I could never get back into it for some reason. I love watching the SoapNet reruns for a hint of how nuts the show became -- werewolves, vampires, angels and a load of familiar faces who would go onto other soaps but never anything as adventurous as this. Unlike PASSIONS, PC played the supernatural seriously, like Anne Rice characters in a Stephen King setting, but that wasn't enough to save the show from ultimately being cancelled (ending on a wild cliffhanger!) Despite being a GENERAL HOSPITAL spinoff, no characters from PC ever made their way back to their origin show except Scotty Baldwin, who I think never interacted with any of the horror elements anyway. I think NIGHT SHIFT could take a page or two from its' wilder predecessor -- after all, what better place for a vampire than a night shift at a blood -filled hospital? ( And fans of the surprisingly defunct MOONLIGHT need a new place for romantic vampire shenanigans! Come on SoapNet! Grow a brain and grab that demographic!)
Monday, June 23, 2008
"I DON'T DO MEANINGLESS SEX."
You and me both, Alexis.
Anyway, back to the soap world. Yesterday I was talking to The Retired Mom and I was surprised that she watched the Emmys and straight-up loved the hell out of them. She loved the hosts, the gowns and seing Susan Lucci. Yet, she will not watch any soap, let alone ALL MY CHILDREN, which used to be her fave. How can AMC lure my mom (and millions like her) back?
Well, they could take a hint from DAYS OF OUR LIVES and do a major revamp on a popular character, with a peformance that is so well done you have to watch. John Black is such a scream, whether talking about sticky buns or being rude to Sami. AMC should make Erica evil in a John Black kinda way -- wouldn't it be great to see Susan Lucci try something new? And then maybe my Mom will watch soaps again!
While watching GENERAL HOSPITAL, The Unemployed Boyfriend inquired if Spinelli is popular or if it's just us who love him. I think Spinelli is popular because he doesn't feel prepackaged. Soaps are all about pushing characters on the viewers -- how many times are we supposed to accept recasts or newbies we don't like? Spinelli feels organic, like he grew out of some strange herb mixture smoked by the writing staff. (Yes, I have been continuing my WEEDS marathon!) Soaps want us to love looking at glamourous, gorgeous characters but I think some soap viewers feel more like Spinelli -- social outsiders looking at unattainable beauty, whether it be Maxienista or your own favorite soap crush. His tenuous status in the soap world -- no girlfriend, no family ties -- makes him a little less like a soap character and a little more like us. That is the secret of Spinelli's fan following. Plus, he calls people funny names.
Anyway, back to the soap world. Yesterday I was talking to The Retired Mom and I was surprised that she watched the Emmys and straight-up loved the hell out of them. She loved the hosts, the gowns and seing Susan Lucci. Yet, she will not watch any soap, let alone ALL MY CHILDREN, which used to be her fave. How can AMC lure my mom (and millions like her) back?
Well, they could take a hint from DAYS OF OUR LIVES and do a major revamp on a popular character, with a peformance that is so well done you have to watch. John Black is such a scream, whether talking about sticky buns or being rude to Sami. AMC should make Erica evil in a John Black kinda way -- wouldn't it be great to see Susan Lucci try something new? And then maybe my Mom will watch soaps again!
While watching GENERAL HOSPITAL, The Unemployed Boyfriend inquired if Spinelli is popular or if it's just us who love him. I think Spinelli is popular because he doesn't feel prepackaged. Soaps are all about pushing characters on the viewers -- how many times are we supposed to accept recasts or newbies we don't like? Spinelli feels organic, like he grew out of some strange herb mixture smoked by the writing staff. (Yes, I have been continuing my WEEDS marathon!) Soaps want us to love looking at glamourous, gorgeous characters but I think some soap viewers feel more like Spinelli -- social outsiders looking at unattainable beauty, whether it be Maxienista or your own favorite soap crush. His tenuous status in the soap world -- no girlfriend, no family ties -- makes him a little less like a soap character and a little more like us. That is the secret of Spinelli's fan following. Plus, he calls people funny names.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
BOOB SWEAT AND TEARS
Apart from the sight of Melissa Clare Egan from ALL MY CHILDREN wiping the perspiration out of her cleavage, the Soapnet Preshow was a disaster. Mikes went out, MVP got more airtime than any other interview segment and Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann were asked the same boring ass questions they are always asked, about kissing and the supposed awkwardness thereof. Hey, how about asking the only two actors in daytime playing gay characters how they feel about being in California, which has now legalized gay marriage? Or getting a real life lesbian couple -- Ellen Degeneres and Portia DeRossi-- to interview soap's only gay couple?
There were brief glimmers of fun, though. Roger Howarth and his little girl were ultra cute, Trent Dawson was refreshingly frank about how miserable he was on the red carpet and Sonya Eddy rocked this ex-retail worker's world by proudly stating she bought her dress from Nordstrom's and she thanked the salesgirl, Vanessa! Hooray for retail sales clerks!
The Emmys themseves were slightly better, but still disappointing. While Tom Pelphrey is a fantastic actor, I think Van really deserved the Emmy instead because he actually drove story for the second half of last year, while Tom's last appearance was in January. Jennifer Landon deservedly won, and I love she beat those twits from THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS. (How on earth did those three newbies score noms?!?) Gina Tognoni is OK as Dinah, but is not as Emmy-worthy as Kelley Menighan Hensley, who stunned ATWT last year with a bold and shocking story. Like Gina, Kristoff St. John is also a sturdy, but unspectacular performer. His Emmy really belongs with Trent Dawson, who truly supports ATWT with liveliness and charm even when he doesn't have a story of his own. Jeanne Cooper's win was deserved and so was Tony Geary's. GENERAL HOSPITAL did have a good 2007, but the Emmy for Drama Series really should have gone to ONE LIFE TO LIVE, which actually scored Directing and Writing Emmys. If your show is the best writen and directed, shouldn't it be the Best Drama?
Van and Jake presenting an Emmy to Ellen DeGeneres could have been the Gayest Thing Ever but no connection was attempted or made. C'mon, Ellen, you couldn't crack a Nuke joke?!? Plus, Van looked exhausted, from heat and not winning. And he didn't even get a clip shown during the nominee list for his category! Oh well, at least Bryton didn't win.
As for who should have won but wasn't even nominated? Kirsten Storms. Kristen Alderson and Kathy Brier (who should submit their scenes together from today's OLTL for Emmys next year!) I cheer myself up with the sight of Beth Ehlers and Ricky Paull Goldin at the AMC table happily enjoying being filmed with proper lighting and cameras as Ellen Wheeler looks on with the evil eye. I am really glad GUIDING LIGHT did not win Best Drama, because Elllen Wheeler was pretty damn insufferable last year, babbling on about her stupid contest to have the Emmy visit your home. (!!!) And why were scenes from GL this year included in the clip reel shown tonight, which is supposed to be footage from last year? So we all don't realize how good GL used to look before being shot through Ellen Wheeler's Cameraphone (TM)?
(The Unemployed Boyfriend is worried that Ellen Wheeler will be stealing all those digital cameras from the Emmy tables to shoot GL with. I am afraid I have no words of false comfort to soothe his troubled brow.)
There were brief glimmers of fun, though. Roger Howarth and his little girl were ultra cute, Trent Dawson was refreshingly frank about how miserable he was on the red carpet and Sonya Eddy rocked this ex-retail worker's world by proudly stating she bought her dress from Nordstrom's and she thanked the salesgirl, Vanessa! Hooray for retail sales clerks!
The Emmys themseves were slightly better, but still disappointing. While Tom Pelphrey is a fantastic actor, I think Van really deserved the Emmy instead because he actually drove story for the second half of last year, while Tom's last appearance was in January. Jennifer Landon deservedly won, and I love she beat those twits from THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS. (How on earth did those three newbies score noms?!?) Gina Tognoni is OK as Dinah, but is not as Emmy-worthy as Kelley Menighan Hensley, who stunned ATWT last year with a bold and shocking story. Like Gina, Kristoff St. John is also a sturdy, but unspectacular performer. His Emmy really belongs with Trent Dawson, who truly supports ATWT with liveliness and charm even when he doesn't have a story of his own. Jeanne Cooper's win was deserved and so was Tony Geary's. GENERAL HOSPITAL did have a good 2007, but the Emmy for Drama Series really should have gone to ONE LIFE TO LIVE, which actually scored Directing and Writing Emmys. If your show is the best writen and directed, shouldn't it be the Best Drama?
Van and Jake presenting an Emmy to Ellen DeGeneres could have been the Gayest Thing Ever but no connection was attempted or made. C'mon, Ellen, you couldn't crack a Nuke joke?!? Plus, Van looked exhausted, from heat and not winning. And he didn't even get a clip shown during the nominee list for his category! Oh well, at least Bryton didn't win.
As for who should have won but wasn't even nominated? Kirsten Storms. Kristen Alderson and Kathy Brier (who should submit their scenes together from today's OLTL for Emmys next year!) I cheer myself up with the sight of Beth Ehlers and Ricky Paull Goldin at the AMC table happily enjoying being filmed with proper lighting and cameras as Ellen Wheeler looks on with the evil eye. I am really glad GUIDING LIGHT did not win Best Drama, because Elllen Wheeler was pretty damn insufferable last year, babbling on about her stupid contest to have the Emmy visit your home. (!!!) And why were scenes from GL this year included in the clip reel shown tonight, which is supposed to be footage from last year? So we all don't realize how good GL used to look before being shot through Ellen Wheeler's Cameraphone (TM)?
(The Unemployed Boyfriend is worried that Ellen Wheeler will be stealing all those digital cameras from the Emmy tables to shoot GL with. I am afraid I have no words of false comfort to soothe his troubled brow.)
Thursday, June 19, 2008
SWEET SIXTEEN
Starr is totally right to give her baby up to Marcie. How on earth can Cole be ready for fatherhood after he pulled that "Are you saying that us making love was stupid?" nonsense. Actually, Cole, fucking without a condom was pretty damn stupid, you dipshit. Good thing we had Tina's way adorable dog, DavidVickers, giving paw to Sarah to distract me from wanting to beat up Cole, Todd Manning-style.
DAYS OF OUR LIVES continued to intrigue, if not completely compel. (ONE LIFE TO LIVE is tough competition for my attention, DOOL.) Are they really going to make Nicole Max's biological mother?? Talk about MILF! I also liked a shirtless EJ. One thing I saw months ago that I forgot to mention -- LOVED that episode where EJ is eating fish'n'chips and explained he was having it the authentic British way, with salt and vinegar! Little touches like that show me that someone is paying attention. (Actually, having real fish'n'chips in London with EJ right now is pretty much my definition of Personal Heaven.)
GENERAL HOSPITAL set up a contrived situation to quarantine Spinelli, Vixenella and Stone Cold with a case of Asian flu, but I accepted the implausibility to see these people interact. Spinelli and Vixenella's bonding over hacking was very cute. As for the rest of the show, Kate needs to grab Carly's face, give it a good hard push, and say "If you get up in my business again, I will kill you." (OK, I have been watching too much WEEDS. Not that you can ever watch too much WEEDS, but the characters' behavior tends to rub off on you. Wait a minute -- where does Spinelli buy his pot from? Ooooh -- WEEDS/GH Crossover!! Bradford Anderson was born to be on WEEDS!) And Johnny Zacchara can continue to keep his shirt off; it is 90 degrees in Los Angeles! All the Emmy nominees are going to MELT on the red carpet tomorrow!!
Speaking of melted...I will now forever hate GUIDING LIGHT for putting the following image in my head. Dinah was blathering on about baby shower games. One such game is handing baby shower attendees diapers filled with melted candy bars (!) and they have to guess what the candy bar was. How incredibly vile. I guess Ellen Wheeler is so wrapped up in her Cameraphone (TM) she neglects to actually read the scripts. What was the point of that scene? To force GL's ratings to drop below 1.5 as people turn off in disgust?
DAYS OF OUR LIVES continued to intrigue, if not completely compel. (ONE LIFE TO LIVE is tough competition for my attention, DOOL.) Are they really going to make Nicole Max's biological mother?? Talk about MILF! I also liked a shirtless EJ. One thing I saw months ago that I forgot to mention -- LOVED that episode where EJ is eating fish'n'chips and explained he was having it the authentic British way, with salt and vinegar! Little touches like that show me that someone is paying attention. (Actually, having real fish'n'chips in London with EJ right now is pretty much my definition of Personal Heaven.)
GENERAL HOSPITAL set up a contrived situation to quarantine Spinelli, Vixenella and Stone Cold with a case of Asian flu, but I accepted the implausibility to see these people interact. Spinelli and Vixenella's bonding over hacking was very cute. As for the rest of the show, Kate needs to grab Carly's face, give it a good hard push, and say "If you get up in my business again, I will kill you." (OK, I have been watching too much WEEDS. Not that you can ever watch too much WEEDS, but the characters' behavior tends to rub off on you. Wait a minute -- where does Spinelli buy his pot from? Ooooh -- WEEDS/GH Crossover!! Bradford Anderson was born to be on WEEDS!) And Johnny Zacchara can continue to keep his shirt off; it is 90 degrees in Los Angeles! All the Emmy nominees are going to MELT on the red carpet tomorrow!!
Speaking of melted...I will now forever hate GUIDING LIGHT for putting the following image in my head. Dinah was blathering on about baby shower games. One such game is handing baby shower attendees diapers filled with melted candy bars (!) and they have to guess what the candy bar was. How incredibly vile. I guess Ellen Wheeler is so wrapped up in her Cameraphone (TM) she neglects to actually read the scripts. What was the point of that scene? To force GL's ratings to drop below 1.5 as people turn off in disgust?
2 OR 3 THINGS I KNOW ABOUT AMEERA
1) She's from Iraq.
2) She is going to live with a family in Los Angeles that was close to her mother
3) She was played by the talented Tala Ashe
And that's it, folks! What did the Colonel want to tell Noah about Ameera? What was she up to in Iraq? Who were the people after her? WE'LL NEVER KNOW.
Good thing the rest of Wednesday's AS THE WORLD TURNS wasn't this sloppy. As soon as Ameera exits, bang -- we've got more of those painfully real scenes with Luke and Noah. Fantastic that Luke finally said everything to Noah that we want to say. In other stories, I'm glad that Meg was shown to have a brain, sad that Vienna is being written as a shrew and fed up with Holden/Carly flashbacks.
So, to answer my previous post's question, now that I've watched ATWT and sampled all the daytime dramas today, where does ATWT stand? It is still my favorite soap, despite plotting frustrations, because when the writing stays true to the characters and is character-driven, we get amazing stuff like the Luke/Noah scenes today. And, as I've mentioned before, ATWT has the best cast on daytime, bar none, with an engaging mix of old pros and young hotties. The show is not perfect, but it is the most emotionally involving soap for me.
2) She is going to live with a family in Los Angeles that was close to her mother
3) She was played by the talented Tala Ashe
And that's it, folks! What did the Colonel want to tell Noah about Ameera? What was she up to in Iraq? Who were the people after her? WE'LL NEVER KNOW.
Good thing the rest of Wednesday's AS THE WORLD TURNS wasn't this sloppy. As soon as Ameera exits, bang -- we've got more of those painfully real scenes with Luke and Noah. Fantastic that Luke finally said everything to Noah that we want to say. In other stories, I'm glad that Meg was shown to have a brain, sad that Vienna is being written as a shrew and fed up with Holden/Carly flashbacks.
So, to answer my previous post's question, now that I've watched ATWT and sampled all the daytime dramas today, where does ATWT stand? It is still my favorite soap, despite plotting frustrations, because when the writing stays true to the characters and is character-driven, we get amazing stuff like the Luke/Noah scenes today. And, as I've mentioned before, ATWT has the best cast on daytime, bar none, with an engaging mix of old pros and young hotties. The show is not perfect, but it is the most emotionally involving soap for me.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
"You can call me Daddy, Blair."
The heat today in Los Angeles is pretty friggin' unbearable and when you combine that with a night of insomnia you've got one zonked Unemployed Soap Viewer who is not able to focus on ANYTHING. So is it any wonder I flipped between soaps today, unable to commit to anything except a DVRed AS THE WORLD TURNS that I will watch later when the sun goes down?
All I can say about THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS is that if I were Victoria, and my Dad was marrying my best friend, I wouldn't come to the wedding either! I know Vicki will eventually show up, but I wish she wouldn't.
ALL MY CHILDREN continues to bore when Jesse and Angie ain't around. I'm glad Billy is leaving and that Aiden hit him. I like Thorsten Kaye. I find it hard to care about Kendall or Greenlee lately. I am not warming up to Colby's recast, nor to Babe's recast, who will always be The Killer Night Shift Nurse to me. (Am I the only one who remembers Spinelli lost his virginity to Jolene on NS? You think he'd feel a bit more confident with the laydeez.)
THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL continues to confuse. Hooray to Robin Riker as Beth; I've liked her since her role in ALLIGATOR! However, what's up with the invented backstory that Beth helped Donna through her teenage pregnancy? I remember Donna when she was played by Carrie Mitchum and all she did was go back and forth between Mark and Rocco. Donna was NOT pregnant, ever! And Jack Wagner doesn't seem right with anyone but Brooke. These attempts to forge a Nick/Bridget/Katie love triangle just aren't working. I previusly wrote that B&B needs some gay characters, because it takes place in LA's fashion industry. I take it back. What this show needs is more straight male characters so everyone stops mooning over Nick, Ridge or Eric!
One show that is really working it is ONE LIFE TO LIVE. David's marriage to Addie was a genuine surprise. And it affects EVERYONE on the show: Dorian, Blair and the entire Buchanan clan who will shit themselves if the Buchanan heir is married to Dorian's sister! Plus, Addie is going into this with open eyes. I love comic relief characters who gain depth.
DAYS OF OUR LIVES seemed to have good bits, but the meaning of today's action was obscure to me. Why is Max so mad? Who is Nicole afraid of? Who's going to kill Morgan's dad? Why am I watching this when ONE LIFE TO LIVE is so much livelier? Still, Roscoe Born is great casting as Max's abusive father and I continue to dig John Black.
GUIDING LIGHT is not as good a show as GENERAL HOSPITAL, but GL hypnotized me with the theme song, which I unironically sang along to. And Spinelli wasn't featured on today's GH, so I thougth I'd check out Springfield. Wow -- how many scenes can we have of people eating cake? And why is Natalia still on the show? She has no son, huisband, love interest, (well, Frank, sorta) and only one frenemy. Does Ellen Wheeler realize that her show last peaked in January of 2007 and that since then everything has referred back to the Jonathan/Tammy story without ever moving forward? At least we have Reva, Buzz and Jeffrey. I wish they would all move to Oakdale so the LIGHT could be put out. (And they can bring Alan, Ashlee and Vanessa with them.)
Didn't watch much of GH. I like Maxie at work. I love Diane and Alexis together, talking about bad boys. I hate Carly and how she makes everything about her. She should be grateful for the publicity of Kate staging a fashion shoot in her hotel, not accusing Kate of trying to steal Jax! Priorities, woman!
So what have I learned from watching all soaps other than ATWT today? OLTL rocks, GH can irritate occasionally but mostly engages, all other soaps are intermittently entertaining except for GL which needs to go away. Where will today's ATWT rank in my personal pantheon?
All I can say about THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS is that if I were Victoria, and my Dad was marrying my best friend, I wouldn't come to the wedding either! I know Vicki will eventually show up, but I wish she wouldn't.
ALL MY CHILDREN continues to bore when Jesse and Angie ain't around. I'm glad Billy is leaving and that Aiden hit him. I like Thorsten Kaye. I find it hard to care about Kendall or Greenlee lately. I am not warming up to Colby's recast, nor to Babe's recast, who will always be The Killer Night Shift Nurse to me. (Am I the only one who remembers Spinelli lost his virginity to Jolene on NS? You think he'd feel a bit more confident with the laydeez.)
THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL continues to confuse. Hooray to Robin Riker as Beth; I've liked her since her role in ALLIGATOR! However, what's up with the invented backstory that Beth helped Donna through her teenage pregnancy? I remember Donna when she was played by Carrie Mitchum and all she did was go back and forth between Mark and Rocco. Donna was NOT pregnant, ever! And Jack Wagner doesn't seem right with anyone but Brooke. These attempts to forge a Nick/Bridget/Katie love triangle just aren't working. I previusly wrote that B&B needs some gay characters, because it takes place in LA's fashion industry. I take it back. What this show needs is more straight male characters so everyone stops mooning over Nick, Ridge or Eric!
One show that is really working it is ONE LIFE TO LIVE. David's marriage to Addie was a genuine surprise. And it affects EVERYONE on the show: Dorian, Blair and the entire Buchanan clan who will shit themselves if the Buchanan heir is married to Dorian's sister! Plus, Addie is going into this with open eyes. I love comic relief characters who gain depth.
DAYS OF OUR LIVES seemed to have good bits, but the meaning of today's action was obscure to me. Why is Max so mad? Who is Nicole afraid of? Who's going to kill Morgan's dad? Why am I watching this when ONE LIFE TO LIVE is so much livelier? Still, Roscoe Born is great casting as Max's abusive father and I continue to dig John Black.
GUIDING LIGHT is not as good a show as GENERAL HOSPITAL, but GL hypnotized me with the theme song, which I unironically sang along to. And Spinelli wasn't featured on today's GH, so I thougth I'd check out Springfield. Wow -- how many scenes can we have of people eating cake? And why is Natalia still on the show? She has no son, huisband, love interest, (well, Frank, sorta) and only one frenemy. Does Ellen Wheeler realize that her show last peaked in January of 2007 and that since then everything has referred back to the Jonathan/Tammy story without ever moving forward? At least we have Reva, Buzz and Jeffrey. I wish they would all move to Oakdale so the LIGHT could be put out. (And they can bring Alan, Ashlee and Vanessa with them.)
Didn't watch much of GH. I like Maxie at work. I love Diane and Alexis together, talking about bad boys. I hate Carly and how she makes everything about her. She should be grateful for the publicity of Kate staging a fashion shoot in her hotel, not accusing Kate of trying to steal Jax! Priorities, woman!
So what have I learned from watching all soaps other than ATWT today? OLTL rocks, GH can irritate occasionally but mostly engages, all other soaps are intermittently entertaining except for GL which needs to go away. Where will today's ATWT rank in my personal pantheon?
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