FROM HIGH DEF TO NO DEF

Or, from THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS to GUIDING LIGHT!

I managed to get up at noon to watch the last half hour of Y&R. Dang, that show sure is pretty in HD. Even the tea packets behind Amber's head are colorful and sparkly. I don't want to rag on the shorties, but I have to say Noah is so fake and unnatural compared to the brilliantly authentic children on AS THE WORLD TURNS. Maybe if they gave Noah a friend he wouldn't seem so out of place hanging around adults all the time?

Hypnotized by the HD signal, I stayed tuned to CBS for THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL. I like but am unintentionally amused by the Donna/Marcus story, which is a high class spin on SECRETS AND LIES only with a son instead of a daughter. I think shortly after that film was released in 1996, ALL MY CHILDREN got there first with Opal and Adrian. So I'm wondering, why hasn't any soap had the courage to full out rip off that fantastic film? I want to see a trashy white mom/high class black daughter now! Steal from the best, soap writers!

I only managed to catch the last minute of AMC but while I was away all hell broke loose! There was crap CGI! There was a helicoptor! There was Jesse launching himself at the helicoptor! There was Dixie's ghost trying to shield Tad from bullets! I wonder if this will happen every time I depart from my normal soap routine. Next time I watch Y&R and B&B instead of AMC, I'll catch the end of AMC and zombies will be eating Colby and Dre. Badly CGIed zombies, of course.

Can you tell I don't like CGI in soaps? Soaps should be filmed theatre, not wanna be films. DAYS OF OUR LIVES had the best plane crash I've ever seen on soaps because they focused on the drama inside the plane, not on trying to show the plane in CGI.

Speaking of DOOL, that show and OLTL were really neck and neck trying to win my full attention today. DOOL had EJ interacting with Chloe, which was fun, and EJ/Sami/Lucas yelling at each other, which is damn good drama.

However, OLTL wins for two reasons. One, for the healthy displays of Man Flesh. John Paul Lavoisier in nothing but a towel and/or a skimpy bathing suit. For the entire episode. And Brody cleans up real good, yesssir.
Two, the impressive way all the stories interacted with each other to produce an edge-of-your-seat cliffhanger. I know Melissa Gallo is leaving OLTL, so does this car crash spell the end of Adriana? And will little Tommy now be back in Marcy and Michaels' custody? Do they save his life? And will Todd finally pay for his crimes against every person in Llanview? How dare OLTL have a rerun Monday!!!!!!

Overwhelmed by OLTL, I surfed aimlessly between GENERAL HOSPITAL and GL. I liked the scene in GH where Claudia and Nicolas bonded over people trying to kill them all the time. Maybe Constance Towers can be lured back to fight with Claudia? That could actually make Claudia sympathetic, for once!

GL is a trainwreck. I am amazed that something so badly directed is even allowed to air. The cut between Harley escorting Rafe out of the fortune tellers' place to Rafe running away from Harley in some woods was jarring and confusing. The way the shots of people talking (Cyrus and Daisy, Mallett and Dinah) go from close-ups to long shots is just a bad way of shooting dialogue between two characters. Hasn't the director ever seen a medium two-shot? Or is the direction of GL entirely done now by Ellen Wheeler as she waves her camera phone at the actors and runs up to them and then runs away, frantically yelling "DON'T MOVE! MOVE NOW!"