BOOB SWEAT AND TEARS

Apart from the sight of Melissa Clare Egan from ALL MY CHILDREN wiping the perspiration out of her cleavage, the Soapnet Preshow was a disaster. Mikes went out, MVP got more airtime than any other interview segment and Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann were asked the same boring ass questions they are always asked, about kissing and the supposed awkwardness thereof. Hey, how about asking the only two actors in daytime playing gay characters how they feel about being in California, which has now legalized gay marriage? Or getting a real life lesbian couple -- Ellen Degeneres and Portia DeRossi-- to interview soap's only gay couple?
There were brief glimmers of fun, though. Roger Howarth and his little girl were ultra cute, Trent Dawson was refreshingly frank about how miserable he was on the red carpet and Sonya Eddy rocked this ex-retail worker's world by proudly stating she bought her dress from Nordstrom's and she thanked the salesgirl, Vanessa! Hooray for retail sales clerks!

The Emmys themseves were slightly better, but still disappointing. While Tom Pelphrey is a fantastic actor, I think Van really deserved the Emmy instead because he actually drove story for the second half of last year, while Tom's last appearance was in January. Jennifer Landon deservedly won, and I love she beat those twits from THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS. (How on earth did those three newbies score noms?!?) Gina Tognoni is OK as Dinah, but is not as Emmy-worthy as Kelley Menighan Hensley, who stunned ATWT last year with a bold and shocking story. Like Gina, Kristoff St. John is also a sturdy, but unspectacular performer. His Emmy really belongs with Trent Dawson, who truly supports ATWT with liveliness and charm even when he doesn't have a story of his own. Jeanne Cooper's win was deserved and so was Tony Geary's. GENERAL HOSPITAL did have a good 2007, but the Emmy for Drama Series really should have gone to ONE LIFE TO LIVE, which actually scored Directing and Writing Emmys. If your show is the best writen and directed, shouldn't it be the Best Drama?
Van and Jake presenting an Emmy to Ellen DeGeneres could have been the Gayest Thing Ever but no connection was attempted or made. C'mon, Ellen, you couldn't crack a Nuke joke?!? Plus, Van looked exhausted, from heat and not winning. And he didn't even get a clip shown during the nominee list for his category! Oh well, at least Bryton didn't win.

As for who should have won but wasn't even nominated? Kirsten Storms. Kristen Alderson and Kathy Brier (who should submit their scenes together from today's OLTL for Emmys next year!) I cheer myself up with the sight of Beth Ehlers and Ricky Paull Goldin at the AMC table happily enjoying being filmed with proper lighting and cameras as Ellen Wheeler looks on with the evil eye. I am really glad GUIDING LIGHT did not win Best Drama, because Elllen Wheeler was pretty damn insufferable last year, babbling on about her stupid contest to have the Emmy visit your home. (!!!) And why were scenes from GL this year included in the clip reel shown tonight, which is supposed to be footage from last year? So we all don't realize how good GL used to look before being shot through Ellen Wheeler's Cameraphone (TM)?
(The Unemployed Boyfriend is worried that Ellen Wheeler will be stealing all those digital cameras from the Emmy tables to shoot GL with. I am afraid I have no words of false comfort to soothe his troubled brow.)